Episode 301: Kris Kristofferson & Rita Coolidge
Gladys may be the
Ugliest Muppet ever –
And I’ve seen Ma Gorg!
Episode 302: Leo Sayer
Please don’t dance, Leo.
We like you, your song is fun,
But, good God, don’t dance!
Episode 303: Roy Clark
The Swinetrek’s toaster
Allows some guests to pop in.
It’s Beaker in spaaaaaaaaaace!
Episode 304: Gilda Radner
Don’t eat your veggies?
Well, please meet my good friend, The
Seven-Foot Carrot!
Episode 305: Pearl Bailey
Floyd’s suit of armor
Has him down. And we’ll need a
Crane to get him up.
Episode 306: Jean Stapleton
The Chef lives a lie.
He doesn’t speak real Swedish.
Geez, who can you trust?
Episode 307: Alice Cooper
Gee, that stalagmite
Sure takes his oral hygiene
For granite. (Sorry.)
Episode 308: Loretta Lynn
The Rhyming Song gang
Should watch more Sesame Street
And learn what rhymes are.
Episode 309: Liberace
I can’t decide what’s
Creepier: Liberace
Or those bird dancers…
Episode 310: Marisa Berenson
Piggy’s wedding plot
Is thwarted by flying fish.
That’s pretty crappie.
Episode 311: Raquel Welch
Raquel Welch turns on
A bunch of horny Muppets.
Watch out for felt burn!
Episode 312: James Coco
I’d like to be in
An octopus’ garden …
But not with that fish!
Episode 313: Helen Reddy
Sopwith the Camel
Dances with Helen Reddy.
My lifelong dream. Sigh.
Episode 314: Harry Belafonte
Beauregard almost
Makes Harry’s opening song
“The Onion Boat Song”.
Episode 315: Lesley Ann Warren
Lesley and Warren
Make great guest stars. And they make
A better salad!
Episode 316: Danny Kaye
Dull Clive Cahuenga
Is still a lot better than
That lousy Kaye guy.
Episode 317: Spike Milligan
There’s Spike Milligan!
Quick, get the butterfly net
And the straitjacket!
Episode 318: Leslie Uggams
“Then Gonzo hit on
Big Bird!”, I struggle to say
To my therapist.
Episode 319: Elke Sommer
Bobby Benson’s band
Is just wrong. Won’t someone please
Think of the children?!
Episode 320: Sylvester Stallone
Sly Stallone singing?
Please bring back the Mummenschanz.
At least they’re quiet.
Episode 321: Roger Miller
The pilgrim penguins
Discover a bright, new land
Of sneezing chickens.
Episode 322: Roy Rogers and Dale Evans
The show goes country.
It’s a good thing Piggy’s gone
Or she’d get hog-tied.
Episode 323: Lynn Redgrave
“Psst. How goes the night?”
“Hmm. Quiet, but still.” “Still what?”
“Still an awful joke!”
Episode 324: Cheryl Ladd
Piggy and Cheryl
Enjoy being girls. Also:
Thrashing helpless frogs.
Thanks to David Beukema for the spiffy haiku! Click here to discuss sneezing chickens and vegetable guest stars on the Tough Pigs forum!
ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com
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