The Voice of Reason

O, what chaos hath New York Times writer Virginia Heffernan wrought?

If you own the Sesame Street Old School DVDs (volume 1 was released last year, volume 2 earlier this month), you've seen that they include a brief disclaimer: “These early Sesame Street episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.” That's it... just a brief note delivered by a cartoon character before the first episode on each set. Last week Heffernan wrote a clever, light-hearted article about this in the New York Times Magazine, asking with tongue-in-cheek indignation what could possibly be so wrong with the episodes that brought up a generation.

Since then, the internet has taken notice of the article, and if there's one thing internet people are great at, it's overreacting. Entertainment websites and the blog world are now abuzz with former Sesame viewers in their late 20s through early 40s expressing the shock, dismay and outrage caused by their misinterpretation of the Sesame Workshop's cautionary notice. People, basically, are freaking out. Fox News even ran an incredulous, uninformed piece about it.

How do we, as Sesame Street fans who know better, talk some sense into these people? Well, picture the following scenario. BINKY and BUNKY are your coworkers, or your fellow partygoers, or on a bus with you, and they're former Sesame viewers who have just heard the story. As our scene begins, they're chatting just before you happen to come along...

BINKY: Hey, you know that show Sesame Street?

BUNKY: Yeah! I loved watching Sesame Street back in the 1970s when I was a kid!

BINKY: Me too! I also enjoyed watching that television show in the 1970s. So, I just read on some random blog somewhere that the old Sesame Street is on DVD now, but it comes with a warning that you should never let your kids see it because it's inappropriate!

BUNKY: No!

BINKY: Yes!

BUNKY: No!

BINKY: Yes!

BUNKY: NO!

BINKY: YES! They said it's because Cookie Monster used to hold a pipe sometimes!

BUNKY: Is that all? That's nothing! We saw Cookie Monster with a pipe and we turned out just fine!

BINKY: I know! If you ask me, everyone on Sesame Street could smoke a pipe, and it wouldn't be that big a deal.

BUNKY: Yeah, it's not like the kids at home are going to start smoking right there in front of the TV!

BINKY: They also said it was politically incorrect that Ernie and Bert's apartment was dirty!

BUNKY: I have no idea what that means or why it would be a reason not to let little kids watch, but I'll take your word for it because you read it in some random blog! And I'm indignant!

BINKY: You're telling me! Oh, and the same thing I read said that if the show started today, they wouldn't be allowed to have Oscar the Grouch!

BUNKY: A world without Oscar?! O, horror of all horrors! How dare they say such a thing?!

BINKY: I know! Why, I can remember watching Sesame Street while sitting on the floor with my favorite teddy bear. My grandmother gave me that teddy bear! Are they trying to say that my grandmother is inappropriate for today's children?!!

BUNKY: Those scoundrels! Sesame Street is way too politically correct now!

BINKY: It's all Elmo's fault, somehow.

BUNKY: You're right, of course! Ever since they let him come in and take over the show, and start starring in and writing and directing every episode, the show has been ruined!

BINKY: Yes! Elmo destroyed everything! And then they changed Cookie Monster's name to "Raw Organic Asparagus Monster!"

BUNKY: Oh, yeah. I heard about that from my cousin Melvin, who read it on the internet... so it must be true!

BINKY: What's next? I bet they'll turn the Count into a pink, fuzzy kitten because vampires are too scary!

BUNKY: I bet they will! Outrage!

BINKY: And then they'll get rid of Big Bird, just because he runs around naked all the time!

BUNKY: Today's children are growing up so deprived because their television experience is not exactly identical to ours! This is a subject worthy of getting furious over!

BINKY: Grr!

BUNKY: My entire childhood has just been invalidated! Grr!

(At this point, YOU, the Rational,Grown-Up Sesame Fan, enter the scene.)

YOU: Excuse me, I couldn't help but overhear...

BINKY: Who are you?

YOU: I'm a rational grown-up Sesame Street fan.

BUNKY: You don't say.

YOU: Sure I do.

BUNKY: Far out.

YOU: So, it sounds like you've got your Christmas lights in a tangle, so to speak, over the disclaimer on the Old School DVDs. Tell me, have you actually seen these DVDs?

BINKY: Well, no. But I watched the show when I was a kid, and I --

YOU: And you turned out just fine, I know. I can tell just by looking at you. But did you know that Sesame Workshop, the producer of Sesame Street, constantly does research and testing to determine how to make the best possible show that will simultaneously educate and entertain children?

BUNKY: Um...

YOU: Well, they do. Now, do you think a toddler in the year 2007 is exactly the same as a toddler in the year 1974?

BUNKY: I guess not.

YOU: So isn't it possible that the type of show that can most effectively teach a child while also holding his or her interest in the year 2007 is different from the type of show that accomplished the same feat in 1974?

BUNKY: Huh. I guess so. But my friend sent me a link to a blog by some guy who saw a report about it on Fox News, and he said --

YOU: It may be true that seeing Cookie Monster as Alistair Cookie holding a pipe didn't persuade you to become a smoker. It may also be true that you didn't suffer lead poisoning from playing on playground equipment containing lead paint. Does that mean you want your children to play with lead paint?

BINKY: Gosh, Mr. or Ms. YOU. I never thought about it that way.

YOU: Anyway, here's the important part: The disclaimer doesn't say, "Do not under any circumstances let kids see this stuff because it's bad for them." It just says it "may not suit the needs of today's pre-school children." Now, if you had watched these DVDs, you'd know that the first episode includes a slow-moving, seven-minute segment on milking cows with droning, repetitious narration. Does that sound like the kind of thing today's kids would sit still for?

BINKY: Um... yes?

YOU: Really?

BINKY: No.

YOU: No. There's also a film sequence about unsupervised children playing in a construction site. We could debate whether or not watching that is damaging to kids, but can you blame Sesame Workshop for covering themselves by putting a disclaimer in front of something like that?

BUNKY: Hey, I milked a cow once!

YOU: By the way, since I have your attention, when you complain about today's Sesame Street... have it you seen it lately?

BINKY: Is this a trick question?

YOU: If you were to watch it, you would see that Cookie Monster is still gorging on cookies. Just about every day, in fact, when he and Prairie Dawn do the Letter of the Day segment.

BUNKY: Is Prairie Dawn the same one as Betty Lou?

YOU: Besides, Cookie Monster has been eating healthy foods in addition to cookies for decades. In Old School volume 2, there's a sketch from the mid-70s in which he gets excited about eating lettuce leaves.

BINKY: Get outta town!

YOU: I will not. The Count is still around too, and so are all your other favorite characters.

BINKY: Like Sam the Robot?!

YOU: ...almost all your other favorite characters.

BINKY: So what you're saying is, we shouldn't get all worked up over a few words at the beginning of one disc of a three-disc DVD set whose only purpose is to point out that there's a difference between the 1970s and the 2000s?

YOU: Right.

BINKY: And that just because the stuff we have fond memories of might not be the same stuff that's the best way for today's kids to have fun learning doesn't mean our fond memories are any less valid?

YOU: Right.

BUNKY: And that the counting cartoon with the pinball machine and the "onetwothree FOUR FIVE sixseveneight NINE TEN eleven twelve" song is awesome?

YOU: Well, I hadn't said that, but yes, that's correct.

BINKY: Oh, wise Rational Grown-up Sesame Fan, you've certainly helped me to see things differently.

BUNKY: I'll say! I'm going to stop complaining about Sesame Street DVDs and concern myself with something far more important... like complaining about who won this year's Dancing with the Stars!

YOU: That's the spirit...

BINKY: What's more, I think we should run out and buy many, many copies of the Sesame Street Old School DVDs and distribute them to all our friends so everyone can see that this really isn't a big deal.

YOU: Now you're talkin'!

BINKY: And we should take this Rational Grown-up Sesame Fan out for ice cream, right now!

YOU: Sounds good to me. On the way over I'll explain why it's not necessary for you to hate and fear Elmo.

BUNKY: I can't wait!

CURTAIN.

So there you go. Make these points, and I guarantee your discussions will turn out just like this one, every time. Good luck, and try not to get an ice cream headache.

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Belated Thanks

Thanksgiving is almost here! Do you know what I'm thankful for? Well yeah, okay, I'm thankful for underwear, but do you know what else? I'm thankful for the Fraggle Rock Complete Third Season DVD set. I realize it came out way back in September, but I'm still thankful for it. I am so full of thanks that I slosh when I walk, and I'm going to tell you about it:

I'm Thankful for Episodes I've Never Seen Before. With each new complete season release I grow closer, ever closer, to having seen all 96 episodes. I'll be sad when there are no more left for me to discover, because there are no other good television shows available on DVD. But until then, it's fun to see episodes that are new-to-me, and this season has some real doozies (Not to mention some real Doozers.)

In "The Beanbarrow, the Burden and the Bright Bouquet," Red's life is threatened by voracious foliage and she responds by singing a lullaby to a potted plant. In "Playing Till It Hurts," we meet Rock Hockey Hannah, probably the only Fraggle ever to wear earrings. Who knew they even HAD ears? "Scared Silly" is one of the weaker episodes of the season, but it is notable for affording a rare opportunity to see Boober acting like a total jerkwad. And "Bored Stiff" is a great episode that's really representative of the Fraggle/Gorg relationship... I'd put it on a list of episodes to show a Fraggle neophyte.

I'm Thankful for Episodes I Know and Love. I was a kid and fan of Fraggle Rock during its original run, but I didn't have HBO. Heck, my hometown didn't even have cable yet. I had four channels to choose from, and if the picture got fuzzy, I had to climb up on the roof and adjust the antenna. And I was four years old! So I relied on tapes of Fraggle Rock recorded by my awesome, big-city-dwelling, HBO-having aunt.

A number of those episodes are present here: There's "Wembley and the Mean Genie," with an outstanding performance by Richard Hunt as a genie who's nowhere near as sexy or eager to please as Barbara Eden, although it should be noted that you can't see his belly button either, but it's not so much because of censors as it is because he's a puppet. There's "Boober and the Glob" -- the first Fraggle episode I ever saw, back before I even knew that Fraggles were Muppets -- in which Boober, who can't tell a joke to save his life, has to tell a joke to save someone else's life. "The Secret Society of Poobahs" is here too, with a terrific and occasionally side-splitting Jerry Juhl-penned script about Mokey's attempts to join the ranks of a secret society.

I'm Thankful for the Ever-expanding Universe. By this time all the characters were well-established, so the writers started exploring the world beyond the day-to-day lives of the five principals. There's an all-Gorg episode ("The Battle of Leaking Roof"), as well as two episodes with scenes that take place outside the confines of the Gorg's estate. "The Cavern of Dreams" and "Gunge the Great and Glorious" teach us about Doozer history and politics, and in "Born to Wander," we find out how Uncle Traveling Matt first became an explorer. We even get to see him without his moustache! (Spoiler: He looks weird.)

I'm Thankful for the Presentation of the DVD. We should all bake up some delicious brownies and send them to HIT Entertainment. For the third time now, they've given us a lovely package, suitable for viewing. The episodes all look and sound fine to me, although some of the colors occasionally seem too bright or too dull, but that might just be my TV. (I'll post a review of my TV here next week.)

And talk about extras! Okay, I will. After season one's replica of Jim Henson's brainstorming notebook and season two's copy of the Fraggle Rock pitch book, I was wondering what artifact might remain for inclusion here... a photo of Jerry Juhl's typewriter? A copy of Kathy Mullen's dry cleaning receipts? Well, those aren't here, but instead we get pages and pages of designer Michael Frith's sketches and concept drawings for "The Origin of the Rock." It's fascinating, it comes in a nifty-looking fake pouch, and it's all accompanied by Frith's commentary. Say, did you know that an early incarnation of the Trash Heap was originally conceived as a Sesame Street character? Neither did I -- until now! Just make sure you don't read these in front of an industrial fan, because they're just loose pages, easily susceptible to blowing away.

Oh, and did I mention the featurettes? I hope the producers of the Muppet Show season sets are paying attention, because this is the way to make fans happy. We'd be doing cartwheels and backflips to get this level of quality in our Muppet Show extras.

The 30-minute "Season 3 overview" would have been good enough, with new interview footage of the show's writers talking about how various episodes came to be. For example, "Believe It or Not" came about because writer Jocelyn Stevenson wanted to do an episode about the fact that we all create our own reality, and what you believe things is to be is the way you end up perceiving them. (Is this heavy stuff for a kids' show, or what?) And then you have your "How the heck did they do that?" technical shorts, and your new interviews, including one with Gerry Parkes, the actor who played Doc, and who seems like a wonderfully sweet old man.

As is perhaps obvious, I'm an enormous geek, and I devour any kind of behind-the-scenes footage, so the one featurette that comes as the biggest delightful surprise is "Scared Silly - Art Imitating Life," which is basically footage of the Fraggle folks sitting around talking about how much fun they used to have scaring the heck out of each other on the set. Really, watching the entire "bonus disc" feels like sitting in on a reunion of the cast and crew of the show as they reminisce about what a great few years the show was, and I don't know about you, but I can't think of a better way to spend an afternoon.

Having Said That... I'm trying to find something to complain about, but I gotta say, it's difficult. Actually, there is one thing that bugs me. So, there's a postcard from Uncle Traveling Matt in almost every episode of the series, right? Which means they had to come up with 90-something things for him to misunderstand. Apparently season three was when they started running out of good ideas. Rollercoasters and trains are funny, but lightswitches? Not as funny. One episode's postcard features Matt encountering a mirror and mistaking his reflection for an ugly creature who wants to steal his food. Come on. Matt's stupid, but doesn't it stretch credibility to suggest that he has no clue what he looks like?

So, Yeah. I'm thankful for the show, and I'm thankful for HIT, and I'm thankful for these DVDs. They may not taste as good as the mashed potatoes with gravy I'm planning eat on Thanksgiving, but on the other hand, they don't make a big mess when you put them in the DVD player.

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Folder? I Don't Even Know Her!

Ah, Sesame Street. My earliest Muppet memories are of watching you while I sit in my diapers, eating Cheerios by hand, visions of sugarplums in my head. And with the new Old School DVD sets, I can revert back to my child-like ways, if only through the magic of television.

Through Old School, we get to see all of our favorite characters. Like Bert and Ernie. And Mr. Snuffleupagus. And Herry Monster, and Grover Monster, and Oscar-who-is-not-a-Monster. Even Headline Howie is in there somewhere. And let’s not forget everyone’s most favorite character, the folder icon.

Wait, what?

Well, faith and begorah, there’s a folder icon on this DVD set! This must be some sort of terrible, terrible mistake made by some designer in the bowels of the Sesame Workshop design department. But when, I ask, when has Sesame Workshop ever made a mistake before? Identifying it as a mistake must have been some sort of terrible, terrible mistake.

There must be an explanation for this!

Perhaps the fine folks at Sesame Workshop have caught wind of the critically acclaimed Niche Muppet project here at ToughPigs.com and decided to create a brand new character to cater toward kids who love Apple computers. Yes, that must be it. That’s Mac, the Apple Folder, who beguiles kids by Photoshopping their faces onto different shapes, and criticizes Bert for being a PC user.

But why would a new character be on a vintage DVD set? No, this explanation is no good. Maybe the folder is the letter of the day! Yes of course, the letter of the day! Maybe PBS has upped the order of annual Sesame Street episodes to 27, and to fill the extra slot, the letter of the day is replaced by a folder. A folder that can contain any letter imaginable. For example, the letter O for “Oops.” Or the letter M for “My bad.” Or the letter W for “Why is this folder here?”

OK, so maybe the letter-of-the-day concept is too complex for a two-year-old. Hey, it looks like the folder might be attached to that mailbox. Perhaps that’s the new icon for the United States Postal Service. Or maybe Sherlock Hemlock lives in that little mailbox and he put it up there so people know that the world’s greatest detective lives inside.

Maybe Rodeo Rosie is behind that icon, and the Sesame Workshop executives want us to forget she ever existed, so they blocked her with a folder.

Or maybe you can see a puppeteer’s arm under there, and when someone asked the designer to Photoshop over it, he misunderstood and entered the Photoshop folder into the image.

Or maybe that’s where they’re storing Old School: Volume 3, safely hidden away in a 2-dimensional image.

Or maybe that’s one of Cookie Monster’s hiding places for his cookies. You know he’s got to have them stored all over Sesame Street, just in case the urge hits.

Or maybe the folder is Mr. Snuffleupagus’ imaginary friend. Notice how Snuffy is staring at it while nobody else can see it?

Or maybe it’s just a mistake. And Sesame Street has taught us, everyone makes them.

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I Love the 70s

The new DVD Sesame Street Old School: Volume 2 was released last Tuesday, November 6. Do you have it yet? Well, you should, because it's groovy.

The set picks up where Volume 1 left off, covering 1974 to 1979, so if you were a kid watching the show during those years you'll be bathed in warm, soothing nostalgia. If you weren't born yet during those years, you'll get to see what the show looked like when Susan had an Afro. And if you were the president of the United States during those years, you're either Jimmy Carter or the late Gerald Ford, in which case you probably didn't have much time to watch children's television, so here's your chance to catch up.

There are a lot of great Muppet sketches here... By this time, the familiar characters were established, and Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson and Richard Hunt were really at the top of their game. In these three discs we get stuff like Cookie Monster exasperating a librarian, Grover and Biff inventing the wheel, and Kermit helping Don Music write his latest hit song "Yankee Doodle." Oh, and I know this one's not Muppets, but there's also Maria smashing pies in the faces of Bob, Luis and David.

A few years ago, I would have thought it very unlikely that we'd ever see a Sesame Street DVD release aimed at the grown-up nostalgia market, but between the two Old School releases we now we have a total of ten full episodes from the early years available. I don't know about you, but I'm already looking forward to Volume 3.

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Very, Very Strange Love

This week saw the debut of a brand-new project from the Jim Henson Company entitled Tinseltown. Tinseltown is a comedy series about a gay couple trying to get by in Hollywood , one of whom is a pig and the other of whom is a bull, both of whom are puppets. Bobby Vegan (the pig) is performed by Bill Barretta and Samson Knight (the bull) is performed by Brian Henson.

The show debuted last Friday as part of the gay-themed Logo cable network's "Alien Boot Camp" programming block. ("Alien Boot Camp" sounds like an Japanese cartoon series, doesn't it? Probably something about robotic pandas fighting skeletons in a submarine.) But if you missed it, you can watch it yourself right now, on the internet, by visiting the Alien Boot Camp website.

But should you watch it? Well, that depends... Do you find the following things funny: Puppets in bondage gear, 13-year-old children drinking beer, jokes about pigs having intimate relations with midgets? If so, this is the show for you. If not, you might want to stay away. Basically, it's a puppet show for people who believe comedy never needs to aim any higher than Comedy Central's Drawn Together, that a puppet uttering obscenities automatically constitutes "edgy" humor.

Tinseltown is a production of the Henson Company's new division, Henson Alternative, which focuses on adult-targeted projects. For short they're calling it ha!, the same abbreviation Jim Henson used back when his company was called Henson Associates. In those days, it was a pretty sure thing that anyone watching a ha! production would frequently make noises that sounded like the company's name, but sadly, that's much less likely with this newest venture. They try so very hard to be "adult" and "edgy"... in fact, they try too hard in their misguided attempt to reach the mature audience. I'm not saying they shouldn't produce stuff intended for that audience, but if they're going to try, it should be good stuff, or we'll all left wishing for an alternative to Henson Alternative.

The plot concerns Bobby, a struggling actor, skipping out on an audition arranged for him by Samson, his manager, so he can go shopping with Lena, a human woman who is Bobby's friend and Samson's ex-wife. Or... she's Samson's friend and Bobby's ex-wife. I don't remember, but it doesn't really matter, because she doesn't have a personality to speak of and all she really gets to do is get drunk. I realize this is only the first episode, so it could get better from here, but... look, I mean, one of the funniest jokes in the whole thing is that Samson & Bobby's foster son is named "Foster." I'm amazed there wasn't a line about Samson feeling "horny."

I have no idea if there are any other episodes forthcoming, or if this was just a one-time, tryout kind of thing or what, but I honestly can't say I'm glad I spent those 10 minutes (plus, like, 38 more minutes waiting for the freaking video to buffer...) watching Tinseltown.

Oh well... maybe the next gay-pig-and-bull-in-Hollywood show that comes along will be better.

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