Jason Segel's Muppet Movie: The FAQ

For many weeks, the Muppet fan community has been buzzing over the announcement that actor Jason Segel, who costars on How I Met Your Mother and who wrote and starred in Forgetting Sarah Marshall has been signed to write the next new Muppet movie. This announcement has given us all a reason to go on living, but it's also raised many questions. Jason Segel has done hundreds of interviews in the past few months, what with promoting Sarah Marshall and talking about his next movie, and most of the interviewers ask him about the Muppet project.

But you don't have time to read hundreds of interviews. You have more important things to do, like shaving your alpaca. Fortunately, Tough Pigs is once again here to save your life, with our Frequently Asked Questions About the New Muppet Movie That That Guy Jason Segel Is Writing, otherwise known by the useful abbreviation FAQATNMMTTGJSIW.

Rest assured: We have all the answers.

Q: When will the new movie start filming?
A: We don't know.

Q: When will the new movie be released?
A: We don't know.

Q: What will the new movie be called?
A: We don't know. But it will absolutely, positively not be called Muppets Underwater.

Q: Why?
A: Jason Segel has made it very clear the he really, really doesn't like the movie Muppets Underwater.

Q: Wait, is that a real thing?
A: No. Presumably, he made it up as an example of the type of gimmicky Muppet movie he doesn't want to make.

Q: Okay. But if it were a real thing, what would the story be?
A: It would be about the government hiring a team of the world's leading scientists (the Muppets) to explore the remains of a 357-year-old shipwreck off the coast of Africa which is rumored to be haunted... but first they have to avoid getting eaten by sharks!

Q: Huh. Okay. So if Muppets Underwater were a real movie, what bonus features would be on the DVD?
A: Commentary by director Michael Bay, Kermit the Frog, and breakout new Muppet character Marty the Rappin' Giant Squid, and a featurette on the making of the incredible "rat synchronized swimming" sequence.

Q: Wow, that sounds really -- wait a minute! Aren't we supposed to be talking about the new script?
A: Oh yeah.

Q: Who will direct the new movie?
A: Nick Stoller, Segel's buddy who directed Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Q: Is Jason Segel a real Muppet fan?
A: Yes. His script for Forgetting Sarah Marshall included a few Muppet references. And in fact, he got the Muppet gig by pitching his idea to Disney.

Q: By the way, is his last name spelled "Segel" or "Segal"?
A: Yes.

Q: Is there a big Hollywood star that Jason Segel would compare to Kermit the Frog?
A: Yeah... Tom Hanks. Segel has mentioned several times that he sees Kermit's "Everyman" appeal as very similiar to that of Hanks. Can't you just see Kermit starring in Splash or The Man With One Red Shoe?

Q: So what's the plot of the new movie?
A: We don't know a lot yet, but Segel has revealed that it involves Kermit rounding up all the Muppets to put on a big show to save the Muppet Theater from a greedy oil tycoon who wants to get at the oil reserves located under the theater.

Q: Haven't they already done that "put on a show" thing?
A: Yeah, pretty much. But this one will be... different. Somehow. Maybe.

Q: Will my favorite character be in the movie?
A: Segel and Stoller have commited to working in all the major classic Muppet Show characters, right down to Sam the Eagle and Statler and Waldorf. But if your favorite character is a more obscure, latter-day creation, you might be out of luck. Sorry, Spamela Hamderson fans.

Q: Statler and Waldorf? Who are they?
A: The old guys.

Q: Has Jason Segel written a cameo for Charles Grodin?
A: Why, yes, he has. Though that doesn't necessarily mean Grodin will agree to do it. There were 12 years between his last two movie roles.

Q: Will there be any other cameos?
A: Yes. Segel wants to capture the feel of the first three theatrical Muppet films, and celebrity cameos will be a part of that. He has mentioned that his pals Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Mila Kunis all want to be in the movie.

Q: I want to be in the movie.
A: Me too!

Q: Will Jason Segel appear in the film?
A: Most likely. Nick Stoller has mentioned that there's a part for Segel as a ventriloquist whose dummy dreams of being a Muppet.

Q: I saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Will Jason Segel be naked in the Muppet movie?
A: No. But Kermit will.

Q: Will there be lots and lots of CGI effects in the movie?
A: Gosh, we hope not.

Q: Will the movie be good?
A: Gosh, we hope so.


Extra special thanks to Tough Pigs' own Joe Hennes for creating the pictures for this article.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum! Especially if you are Jason Segel.

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Death and Taxes

Much like a bad pun or a rampaging Cookie Monster when a box of Thin Mints is nearby, death is unavoidable. Even more unavoidable is my own inability to keep up with current events. We at ToughPigs never claimed to be a news source, but I like to pay homage where homage is due when it comes to the untimely demise of people who were near and dear to the Muppets.

Looking back, it’s been a whopping ten months since I wrote about Merv Griffin's passing. Many a celebrity has passed away since then, and I’d like to share a few of their stories with you. If things get too sorrowful, let me know and I’ll come over to give you a hug.

The celebrity death that I’m most upset about neglecting to write here on ToughPigs is Muppet Show guest star Teresa Brewer, who passed away on October 17, 2007. I’ll be the first to admit that I had no idea who she was before seeing her on my Muppet Show DVDs, and the second to admit that I still kinda don’t know much about her non-Muppet career. Teresa sang “Cotton Fields” on a train, “Music Music Music” on some kind of prehistoric MP3 player, and “Spinning Wheel” in a particularly hilarious skit involving a swing, Sweetums, and no laws of physics. She also got the chance to binge in front of Miss Piggy while showing all of America that she eats an entire cake for lunch.

Bob Cunniff passed away at the age of 81 on January 20. He worked on The Today Show and The Dick Cavett Show in the 1960s, and then he joined the Sesame Street team as a writer and producer in 1972. In his three years with Sesame Street, he was directly involved with skits like “Morty Moot Mope” and “The Ballad of Casey McPhee.” In 1973, he shared an Emmy Award with Jon Stone for “Outstanding Achievement in Children's Programming.”

Anthony Minghella passed away at the age of 54 on March 18. He is best known to Henson fans for his work on The StoryTeller, for which he wrote the final scripts. He also wrote Living With Dinosaurs and he created The StoryTeller: Greek Myths. In 1996, he directed the film The English Patient, for which he called up some of his old buddies at the Jim Henson Company and hired them to create the special effects makeup used on the titular character.

NRA spokesperson Charlton Heston passed away on April 5. Aside from being referenced in passing by Statler and Waldorf in an episode of The Muppet Show, he provided the voice of The Mastiff in the Creature Shop film Cats and Dogs.and was (very loosely) parodied on The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence. He’s also famous for being Moses and kissing apes.

Del Ankers passed away on May 15 at the incredible age of 92. He was already well-known for photographing Presidents of the United States when he took the job as cinematographer for Jim Henson’s Wilson’s Meats commercials. He even appeared on camera in one of the Wilson’s Meats Meeting Films, which are wonderful slices of early Muppet life.

My all-time favorite Mel Brooks movie is Blazing Saddles, which would not be so great without Harvey Korman, who passed away on May 29 at 81 years old. His work on The Carol Burnett Show is priceless, but he arguably did his best work while hosting an episode in the first season of The Muppet Show. You have to admit, it takes some real acting chops to tame a wild Thog and turn into a giant chicken, all within a half-hour variety show. He re-teamed with the Jim Henson Company to voice the Dictabird in The Flintstones live-action film, as well as its sequel as Col. Slaghoople.

Most recently, early rock musician Bo Diddley passed away at the age of 79 on June 2. He appeared on Sesame Street twice: once in the celebrity version of “Monster in the Mirror,” and again to spoof his role in Bo Jackson’s “Bo Knows” commercials in the early 1990s. Rock and Roll would not be what it is today without Bo Diddley, and neither would my childhood.

So, hopefully there will be no more mourning for Muppet fans from here on, and everyone that has ever worked with the frog will live on with a prosperous life and lots of babies. But on the off chance that there will be more goodbyes on their way, I’ll do my best to make sure they’re immortalized here on ToughPigs.com. Harvey Korman would have wanted it that way.

Click here to remember Teresa, Bob, Anthony, Chuck, Del, Harvey, and Bo on the ToughPigs forum.