The Twid-dle-bug Show

Last week, we broke the news in half on The Adventures of Bert and Ernie, a new 5-minute program featuring Sesame Street’s resident odd couple transformed into clay. And if you haven’t read it, do yourself a favor and skip down the page for a read or else my feelings will be severely hurt.

“But,” you say, “how much does Sesame Workshop really get out of one 5-minute program that will only be aired overseas?” First off, let me giggle at your use of the word “but.” Secondly, that’s a very intelligent question. Pat yourself on the back, kiddo. It turns out that The Adventures of Bert and Ernie (TAoBaE) is just the first in a small series of short-form programs being sold to networks around the world. And when there’s a series, there’s gotta be a second to follow that first.

The next short-form show from Sesame is aptly named Twiddlebugs, featuring (you guessed it) Twiddlebugs! The critters that live in Ernie’s window box will be exploring their world through naïve eyes and a slow speech pattern. But, like TAoBaE, the Twiddlebug family won’t be appearing in their familiar puppet forms. Instead, they’ll infest the 21^st century in CGI form. 52 3-minute episodes are currently being produced and the show hasn’t yet been picked up by any networks. It will most likely begin to air in September, 2008.

As wacky as it seems, this is far from the first time the Twiddlebugs will be seen computer animated. CGI Twiddlebugs first appeared in 2002 in Sesame Street 4-D Movie Magic, an attraction at Universal Studios: Japan. They only appear once at the beginning and once at the end, and none of them speak. This is also the first time anyone had seen them fly. Who needs The Fam-il-y Car anyway?

The Twiddlebug family made their CGI debut in 2006 on Sesame Street. In the sketch, the ‘bugs attempt to take a family portrait, although they can’t seem to figure out why there’s always someone missing (SPOILER: it’s a cookbook! I mean, it’s the photographer!). Unfortunately, we’re never given an answer to the real question: Where did they get such a small camera?

An educated Muppet fan might guess that the above sketch was created as a test to see how audiences would respond to the new Twiddlebug look. I for one was pleasantly surprised. Although it lacks a certain je ne sais quoi that only the puppet versions could offer, they still maintain the same goofiness and smallness the original provided.

So, what do these new programs mean for Sesame Street? For starters, creating new shows through a new medium frees up the puppeteers and puppet makers to focus on the Street, rather than having to split up their time. The new programs will also be aired separately from Sesame Street, which will hopefully bring new viewers to the show and sell more stuff, keeping the show on for a long, long time.

And while the Twiddlebugs are in the CGI future, Bert and Ernie are off exploring their Silly Putty imagination, Grover is traveling the globe, Cookie Monster and Prairie Dawn are eating/trying not to eat the Letter of the Day, The Count is counting the Number of the Day, Big Bird and the Two-Headed Monster are lost on their Journey to Ernie, Elmo is talking to fish in Elmo’s World, and Oscar is busy reading his fan fic to Slimey, I think that just leaves Alan, Baby Bear, and Meryl Sheep to mind the Street.

Totally worth it.

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Can You Tell Me How To Get, How To Get My Prescription Medication?

True story: At the Archives for National Public Broadcasting (located at the University of Maryland) there are thousands of files from The Children's Television Workshop, many specifically relating to Sesame Street. Recently I spent a day (a holiday) in Maryland browsing through the archives with some friends, because we are in actuality the most boring people who have ever walked upon the Lord's green Earth. These archives include everything from budgetary memos to character and set designs for the Muppets to press clippings from the show's earliest years. Try to contain your excitement! There are also letters from fans.

Any television show will get viewer mail, and for a show as famous as Sesame Street, there's bound to be a lot of it. As you can imagine, most of the viewer mail sent to Sesame Workshop for Sesame Street is from grateful parents letting the staff know they're doing a good job and from kids who want to send warm wishes to their favorite denizens of the Street.

These are not those letters. These are from people who, at best, possibly had only the most tenuous grip on sanity. And it was the '70's, so that's saying something.

Surfacing, dusty and nursing many a paper cut, I bring to you some choice fan letters from the first few seasons of Sesame Street, from when the concept was new and people were getting their first look at a groundbreaking, fresh way to teach children. The reaction? Well, to judge by these letters, it was to first (I imagine) wipe away the drool. Then haul out the trusty old Royal typewriter and set to work.

And because we here at Tough Pigs believe in returning something to the community, I'm going to finally answer some of these letters, even though I have no actual connection to Sesame Workshop, and despite the fact that some of the people who wrote these might be technically dead. Don't thank me; it's my civic duty. The names of the writers have been changed to protect the innocent (unless those names are really funny, then I'm keeping 'em.)

Let's start off with a simple one. A Mr. Bibula (And Family) writes:

We are regular Sesame Street watchers [...] However, we were shocked by possibly the most tasteless routines ever created by you in the persons of Larry and Phyllis. The two skits were 1) oomph-beep-beep and 2) the picture hanging. While the theme of cooperation is an admirable one, the approaches demonstrated by these skits were unbelievably crude.

Ah, yes, the shocking "Oomph-Beep-Beep" skit. Legendary in the fact that it brought hard-core frontal nudity to television in the 1970's.

Well, no, actually. It mostly featured two people sitting on a couch making silly noises. I can only imagine what this person thinks of The Jerry Springer Show. My prediction: their face melted clean off their head the first time they heard "Oh No You Di'int".

This excerpt from another letter displays a similar sensibility:

We have noticed even on the program "Sesame Street" designed for pre-school children that there is an occasional indecently-dressed person and a large number of euphemisms such as "I'll be darned" which is of course a euphemism for "I'll be damned". Also "gee" which is a euphemism for Jesus. "My gosh" which is a euphemism for "My God". [...] We request that a conscientious effort be made to eliminate all vulgarity from your programs, whether it be dressed in the form of song or language or even undressed as a human body.

Well, shit. I'm sure as hell sorry for all the damn foul language. And I guess I spoke too soon about the frontal nudity thing from before.

No, for real. I like how you were being clever with the whole 'dressed/undressed' thing you were going for there. That's quality complaint-lettering, that is.

Next up:

Dear Sirs,
I think there should still be books read on Sesame. I think you are a stupid ass for not reading books any more.

Whoa! Okay, so hopefully you were placated by Reading Rainbow. What's interesting is that while this letter is neatly typewritten, it's signed with the name SUSAN scrawled diagonally down the length of the rest of the page in shaky handwriting. Yeah, it could've been dictated to a parent by a kid, but then why are you letting your kid call someone on Sesame Street an ass? I really hope the person who wrote this letter never corresponded with the person who wrote the letter above.

And speaking of unbelievably crude:

To Whoever Is Thoughtful Enough To Mail Me A Prompt Reply,

Could you please answer the following questions for me:
- Has Molly become addicted to snorting nasal mists? Is that why she had to give up her postal route?

- In regard to the number of Kikes, Niggers, Spics, etc. that predominate the cast of your show, could we please have more of them? Was Raoul deported?

- Could you please tell everyone in the neighborhood to be kinder to Big Bird? He takes a lot of crap, especially from Maria.

Another loyal fan and dedicated teacher.

Wow. Teacher huh? Okay. Well, in response to your questions, Molly the Mail Lady was played by Charlotte Rae. Upon leaving the cast of Sesame Street, she opened and became the headmistress of a girls' school in Peekskill, New York. Although your 'nasal mist' theory is as good a reason as any for why she acts like that.

The character Rafael was played by Raul Julia. He later became a goth and then an accomplished street fighter.

Yeah, Big Bird does take a lot of crap, doesn't he? Well, don't you worry - you don't stay an eight foot tall bird for long without learning a trick or two. There was an... incident. Suffice to say Maria doesn't give Big Bird a hard time any more.

Sesame Street is, as you know, dedicated to showcasing diversity in its cast. As you have no doubt seen, additions to the cast have included wetbacks, chinks and even retards! In the future it's possible you might see a fag or a dyke!

Speaking of departed cast members:

Please tell me what happened to my old friends. Did God take the 'old' Gordon & Molly & Rafael up to the clouds because they got bad boo-boos when they ran across the street and got hit by a truck like my kitty-cat, Friend? My Mummy says they didn't go up in the sky but she can't tell me where they went. Can you?

They're, uh, they're on a farm. Yeah, that's right. A great, big farm where they can run and play as much as they want. Lots of rabbits to chase. And they have a nice spot by the fire to sleep in, too.

From an irate viewer:

I'm real pissed off cause no one sees the Snuffleupagus. If someone besides the kids don't see him I quit watching & I won't give any support. So the choice is yours.

This person grew up to write some of the greatest internet petitions of all time.

Then we have a frustrated Mom:

I would like to see Cookie Monster changed to Apple Freak or Fruit Monster. It is an unusual cookie that is better than a piece of fruit. Making children think cookies are fun to eat isn't fair to us mothers. I hope some consideration is given to this

And thus we have everyone's favorite Sesame character: Apple Freak.

Lastly:

Do you know what an "around down up, down* and a monkey tail", is? You should!! it would add new demensions (sic) to your program.

What do you even say to that? Oh, wait, I know:

You're absolutely right! These new demensions are mind blowing. I also now know that around the corner fudge is made. Well, it was until 1986 at least - that business closed down. Now it's a shoe store, I think.

*Also: Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Select and Start. 30 lives!

Adventures in Clay

It’s been a long-lasting art form. A little bit of mud, a little bit of paint, a camera and a whole lot of patience and you’ve got yourself a claymation cartoon. From Gumby to Davey and Goliath, from Wallace and Gromit to The California Raisins, everyone’s favorite characters end up embodied in clay-form eventually. Ok, maybe not every single one of your favorite characters, but we’ve got a lot of catching up to do. Those Pixar guys are making it look easy.

Starting later this year, millions of Sesame Street viewers will be treated to new versions of Bert and Ernie. They’ll be popping right out of the screen in The Adventures of Bert and Ernie, a new 5-minute program in which the duo will appear as moving sculptures as they travel the world through their imaginations.

So now you’ve heard the good news. Are you ready for the bad? Do you want to sit down for this? Maybe have a cup of hot cocoa?

The Adventures of Bert and Ernie will not be available in the United States. It will be shown in Germany, the United Kingdom, Australia, India, Denmark, Spain, The Netherlands, Israel, Norway, Sweden, and parts of Asia as a separate program (meaning, not during their regular local Sesame Street). Two seasons are being produced as we speak, 26 5-minute episodes in each. Thats four hours and 20 minutes worth of stop motion comedy.

Now, you may ask yourself, “Why am I talking to myself?” And you may then ask yourself, “Why aren’t these being shown in America, the greatest country of them all?” Good question, me. With the ever-lasting possibility that the Republicans-that-be might cut funding to Public Broadcasting, Sesame Workshop needs to find more ways to create funds outside of merchandising and Viewers Like You. One of these ways is to produce a new program and sell it to other networks. It’s unknown to us if they tried to sell it in the United States, but if they did, and if it didn’t sell, then they’re sure to make a buck or two overseas.

No word yet on where Clay Bert and Clay Ernie might be going with their imaginations, but now that they’re animated, the limits are possibilityless. No wait, scratch that, reverse it. They may travel to the far reaches of Egypt. Or perhaps they’ll pretend to be knights who fight dragons. Or maybe they’ll want to live on the moon! (But somehow I doubt it)

My selfish hope for this program is that one day, several years from now, production will end on The Adventures of Bert and Ernie and it will cease to air on foreign networks. Then, with all of these episodes collecting dust, Sesame Workshop will slap them in new episodes of Sesame Street right between Roman Numeral Of The Day and Elmo’s Subconscious.

Though it might be better if Sesame Workshop just kept making money so Sesame Street stays on the air forever and ever. Yeah, I like that idea too.

Not Quite Suitable for Framing

What do you do when you’re a Muppet fan with an extra $950 burning a hole in your proverbial pocket? Might I suggest spending it on some mediocre art?

While Disney continues to try and figure out just who is left to run things in the Muppets Holding Company, merchandise continues to trickle out. And I do mean trickle. Without a production to promote, Disney’s plan to keep the hopefully-temporarily-inert property alive in our hearts and wallets is to put out stuff that we can see on their website, yet can’t buy. The latest in this endeavor is a small series of limited-edition Giclée paintings. More on that strange word in a minute.

A total of six paintings are available on DisneyShopping.com. Sadly, when you do a search for “Muppet” on the site, you come up with only one of the pictures, a t-shirt, a watch, a small collection of CDs and DVDs, and a set of (again, overpriced) pins. If you take away the stuff you can purchase at the local Wal-Mart, the selection of what you can buy from the company that owns the Frog and his pals is bleaker than anything I’ve ever seen. So when I heard that you can buy paintings on their site, imagine my glee at the prospect of new stuff to throw my money at!

Let’s backtrack for a moment to a couple paragraphs ago when I introduced a new vocabulary word: Giclée. According to Wikipedia, Giclée (pronounced “zhee-CLAY”) is a process to reproduce fine art from a digital source using ink-jet printing. So, essentially, these pictures are prints made from the Hewlett Packard printer next to my desk.

The first four pictures are pop-art portraits of Kermit, Piggy, Gonzo and Animal. As you can see, there’s just a little bit too much detail in the images, which makes the pictures walk that line between photo-realistic and illustration a little bit too uncomfortably. If you want a photo, go with a photo; if you want to capture the essence of the character, go with something cartoonier. My first reactions were that Kermit looks old and tired, Gonzo should not be photographed from straight ahead, and Animal has no neck. I actually kinda like the Miss Piggy, though I’d sooner cut her picture out of a magazine and slap it in a frame (assuming she shows up in magazines any time soon). I might not want to put these over my headboard, but I would definitely consider buying them as pins or stickers. These babies are 14”X14” and go for $295 each.

Next up is a 20”X27” picture of the Electric Mayhem. My gut reaction was that it looked like a color-by-number watercolor. I have been told that it is a parody of the style of some psychedelic rock band posters from the 60s and 70s, so if that’s true, then props to Disney. Though as I’m trying to critique the painting, I find that I can’t stare at it too long or I start to freak out about either going blind or accidentally inhaling the fumes. The one big drawback to my appreciating this one is the terrible caricature of Animal who looks more like Rip Taylor than a Muppet. Though Rip Taylor does lend himself to Muppet-impersonation more than most. I must say, I’m curious as to what this picture looks like with a black light. And what it looks like while I’m stoned out of my gourd. You can make this one yours for a whopping $595.

Last but far from least is a recreation of the scene everyone mistakes for the opening scene of The Muppet Movie. Kermit’s in the swamp, strumming on the old banjo, southpaw-style. At a first glance, you can tell that Disney staff artist James Coleman has a lot of talent in painting scenery. The swamp, the trees, the sunset, the perspective, it’s all spot-on. Even his Kermit, when viewed as a thumbnail, looks like he’s actually singing a song as solemn as “Rainbow Connection,” looking up to the Georgia sky with hope in his eyes. And then you zoom in. This has got to be one of the worst images of Kermit I have ever seen. To Disney, I say shame on you for allowing this to even come close to the public. He looks like a cheap reproduction puppet made for a 5-minute parody on MadTV. When you only make 2 or 3 new products a year for the entire brand, you’d better be damn sure they’re picture perfect. Or else you end up with quite the opposite type of picture. This 20”X20” picture will put you in the poor house with a devastating pricetag of $925.

Add $25 for shipping and handling and please allow 2-4 weeks for delivery. Oh, and start saving for that $1,100 painting of Mr. Poodlepants coming out in May.

A Muppet a Day...

Have you ever said to yourself, “Apples are STUPID! They’re all the same, and they all SUCK! The only way I’d ever eat an apple would be if one of my beloved childhood icons endorsed it!”

If so, Sesame Workshop and Hannaford’s new promo is for you. The catchily-titled Apple of the Month program at the supermarket chain is an attempt to encourage kids and other people to try different varieties of apples. Each month, a Sesame Street character will appear on in-store materials touting that month’s apple, along with fun apple facts. I can’t imagine how many fun apple facts there could possibly be, but anyway.

The apples come with collectible stickers and an activity sheet too, which is a pretty good way to get kids, as well as grown-up Muppet geeks, interested in the promotion. Grover promoted Fuji apples in January, Elmo and Zoe are singing the praises of pink lady apples for February, and so on, presumably until they run out of either apples or Muppets. I’d never heard of Hannaford’s before this promotion, but if you live near one, you might want to stop in and check it out. They got stickers!

If this sells apples, I can foresee a whole series of similar promotions. The Sesame Street Potato of the Month – Cookie Monster for Russets and Abby Cadabby for New Potatoes! Or the Sesame Street Seafood of the Month – Telly for trout and Rosita for octopus! The possibilities are as endless as they are unlikely.