The Answers You've Been Searching For

A lot of web-surfers who stumble upon this website do so via a search on Google or some other search engine. With the magic of Google Analytics, we can keep track of how our visitors find us, including the search terms that led them to the site.


Many of these searches are phrased in the form of a question, which makes sense, because as Sesame Street has taught us, asking questions is a good way of finding things out. In an effort to be as helpful as possible, I've decided to answer some of the recent search engine questions that have led people here.

Now let's see what folks want to know...


Q: Which year did the Two-headed Monster first appear on Sesame Street?
A: 1978. See how helpful I am?


Q: Season of the muppet show mahna manha which disc episode
A: Season one, disc one, the Juliet Prowse episode. Now that's some useful information. You're welcome!


Q: What else did the cast of A Fish Called Wanda star in?
A: 1997's Fierce Creatures. See there? I answered that one and it wasn't even about Muppets!

Q: Whatever happened to the first Gordon from Sesame Street?
A: His name was Matt Robinson, and he went on to write for The Cosby Show. Boy, I'm full of helpfulness today.


Q: Does anyone have a wallpaper of the Muppets character Beaker?
A: Um... probably. Yeah, probably somebody does.

Q: When will The Muppet Show 4th season be available?
A: Not soon enough, I tell ya!

Q: What are the names of the cast from Sesame Street?
A: Well, let's see... there's Bob. He's played by a guy named Bob. There are some other people too.

Q: What is Miss Piggy's surname in the TV show the Muppets?
A: "Mummenschanz."

Q: Who is the hottest female Muppet?
A: Miss Mousey, definitely. Everyone wants to make out with her.

Q: Did Jim Henson ever go to jail?
A: Sure he did! Don't you remember that time he stole Air Force One and used it to rob banks in 14 major world cities, illegally copying videotapes all the while? It was in all the papers.

Q: Who sings on the commercial with the really tall guy looking for a car over the internet?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: Who was Jerry's relative on Tom and Jerry that sang and played guitar?
A: Michael Jackson.

Q: Who would you like to see as a celebrity guest star on Sesame Street?
A: Anyone but Michael Jackson.

Q: How tall is Howie Mandel?
A: Five feet, seven inches in high heels. And he always wears high heels.

Q: Why weren't Captain and Tennille on The Muppet Show?
A: As a matter of fact, the Captain and Tennille were on The Muppet Show, but it was using their aliases "Shields" and "Yarnell."

Q: Is political science an art or science?
A: Yes.

Q: Which show did Miley Cyrus first star in?
A: Miley Cyrus first rose to fame playing the role of Darrin Stephens on the hit CBS comedy Bewitched.

Q: How do pigs benefit man?
A: By going to space!

Q: Is a ball named googly giggler?
A: Oh, it most certainly is.

Q: Won't somebody think of the children?
A: Yep.

Q: What Muppet are you?
A: I'm actually not a Muppet. I'm a human being. Thanks for asking, though.

Q: i want to work with muppets
A: Me too!

Q: What animal are Fraggles?
A: Gobo and Wembley are schnauzers, Boober and Red are cockatoos, and Mokey is a snuffleupagus.

Q: Did Dylan Sprout and Miley Cyrus ever go together?
A: Actually, it's a funny story. Dylan Sprouse did ask out Miley Cyrus, and they dated for quite some time, but it wasn't until the fifth month of their relationship that she realized she wasn't dating Cole.

Q: forever friends. who is kermit.s fictional friend
A: The Great Gatsby.

Q: Why do all muppets seem to be left-handed?
A: The answer is simple: They seem to be left-handed because they ARE left-handed.

Q: who seen bert ernie serie stopmotion
A: Me!

Q: Is Dylan or Cole Sprouts older and by how many more minutes or seconds?
A: Cole is older by two inches. Both Sprouse brothers celebrate their 45th birthday next July.

Q: What is the difference between a gobo and a cookie?
A: Gobo and Cookie Monster are both Muppets. There is no difference.

Q: What does Abby Cadabby offer to viewers?
A: A giant vat of pudding. Are you interested?

Q: Does the regular TMX Elmo have secret sequences?
A: Yeah, and they're REALLY cool. Oh boy, are they cool. Awesome, really.

Q: How can I get a pass to see the Sprouse brothers on "Live, the Suite Life on Deck"?
A: You can't. The truth is, you will never meet the Sprouse brothers. You will never touch or talk to the Sprouse brothers. The Sprouse brothers will never even know you exist. So you might as well stop dreaming now.



And there you have it. I feel like I've done some real good here. You can all thank me later.



Click here to thank me on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

The Turkey is the Turkey, You Turkey

While the ToughPigs staff is off having our fill of cranberry sauce and awkward family moments, we thought we'd bring a little Thanksgiving joy into your homes. And as much as I'd like to stop by for some leftovers, we'll have to settle for a good old fashioned ToughPigs poll.

In our ongoing quest to humanize your food, thus making it that much more difficult to stomach (oh come on, it's not like the Muppets haven't been doing that since the dawn of time), we'd like to know: Who is your favorite Muppet turkey? Let's take a peek at the nominees!

The Turkey, from The Muppet Show. If you look past the humongous eyeballs, you'll see a gobbler who was almost dinner in the Danny Kaye episode, nearly skewered in the Arlo Guthrie episode, and a terrifying sight to Gonzo (whilst in the 'O') in the Mac Davis episode.
The Christmas Turkey, from Muppet Family Christmas. As far as I know, this is the only turkey to have been decked out in a driving cap, sunglasses, and tennis racket. Though he does suffer from multiple personality disorder, claiming to be both a dairy cow and a seagull, so it might be best to just disbelieve anything he says.
Taylor the Turkey, from Muppets Tonight. Known for being oblivious to the difference between an oven and a sauna, and for being one of the most spread-eagled of the Muppets, Taylor was featured in an episode of Tales from the Vet. According to Brian Henson, he was delicious.
The Turkey, from Sesame Street. This little guy was eaten by Grover. I haven't seen this episode, but it's still a pretty good guess.
Camilla the Chicken, from Studio DC: Almost Live. In what is arguably the worst production of the Muppets' long career, Camilla (magically, temporarily, and off-screen transformed into a turkey) provides the sole shining light by providing the straight line to the only funny bit in the whole episode. It went a little like this: CAMILLA: Blubalubala? GONZO: Yeah, blubalubala. Comedy gold or simply funny by comparison? You decide.
Big Bird. Often referred to as a turkey by Oscar, this bit of information was enough to fool Waylon Jennings into giving him a free ride. I really don't know who's more susceptible in this situation.
Gonzo the Great. He's kinda like a turkey, but not much.

Head on over to the ToughPigs forum by clicking here to vote for your favorite Muppet turkey! Gobble Gobble!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

News and Other Goings-on 11/23

Here's what has us salivating this week:

Don't forget to vote in the Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant!
It's going on on this website, right now! Take a look at the ugly toys, and send in your votes today!

Whatnotmania!
Did you see the whole "Muppets take over The Today Show" thing on NBC last week? That was pretty cool... Ann Curry has never looked better. It was all done to promote the Muppet Whatnot Workshop at FAO Schwartz... which has proven so popular that they've suspended new orders for Whatnots on the FAO website until February 2009. February! No doubt they got a huge promotional boost from being mentioned here on Tough Pigs.

Kermit interviewed in Time Out New York
Kermit did a nifty interview with the NYC magazine this week. Check it out.

Steve and Dave in Atlanta
Steve Whitmire and Dave Goelz appeared at the Atlanta History Center recently to host some Muppety screenings. They brought along their friends Kermit, Rizzo, and Gonzo too. The Loose Toon blog has a nice report with some video clips.

Ricky Gervais to appear on Sesame Street
Various sources reported this week that Ricky Gervais has been asked to appear in the next new season of Sesame Street. No word yet on what he'll be teaching, which characters he'll be working with, or whether he'll be allowed to go wildly off-script.

Kermit Chaplin gets a bath Tough Pigs' close personal friend David S noticed this week that the Kermit-as-Charlie-Chaplin statue has been removed from its perch at the gate of the Jim Henson Studio (the complex was originally the studio for United Artists, founded by Chaplin). Further investigation has revealed that it's just being cleaned, and it will return soon.

Guillermo del Toro's Pinnochio
Guillermo del Toro, director of Pan's Labyrinth and two Hellboy movies, has announced plans to make a puppety feature film version of Pinnochio, based on the book adaptation by Gris Grimly, and he wants the Henson Company involved. Presumably this would be a bit darker, more dramatic, and capital-F Freakier than the Pinnochio movie the Creature Shop worked on in the 1990s, which starred Home Improvement's Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Click here to talk about this stuff on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Shrimpin' Ain't Easy

So, Pepe wrote a book. He took one of his seventeen tiny little hands, held an even tinier littler pencil, and jotted down his most personal inner thoughts. Of course, this isn't true (Spoiler: He's a puppet). Jim Lewis gets the "As Told To" credit on the title page, although this is his only mention, as his name doesn't appear on the cover and he doesn't get an "About the Author" blurb. Poor Jim Lewis. But I guess it serves him right, since he keeps letting Muppets tell him things.

Let me start with the title. It's a joke referencing a song about someone who rents out their employees for sexual favors. Well, cover him with fleece and he's already a Muppet! I'm as much in favor of risque humor as the next guy, but it's hard to know where to draw the line when it comes to material being marketed toward kids. Does this cross the line? Probably not, but I can't help but think about that whenever I look at the book. Now, if Pepe decided to go into the whoring business himself, maybe I'd forgive it for the autobiographical issue.

The book starts with an introduction by Kermit the Frog. Kermit's his old wacky self here, but if you stop to think about it, Jim Lewis also wrote Kermit's shtick. So here we've got an introduction by the same author. It wouldn't be a big deal to most people, but it quickly becomes anticlimactic once you put two and two together. I guess that's the trouble you get into when you're making a book written by fictional characters.

Immediately after Kermit's introduction is Pepe's foreword to the book. The foreword is written like conversational Pepe, which helps to hear it written in his voice (the rest of the book is not conversational, more on that in a bit). Here, Pepe introduces us to the guy we'll be reading about: he's greedy and womanizing and Spanish and edible. There's a bit with potential where he begins to tell his life story: "Born off the coast of Malaga, Spain, I was discovered by a casting agent on a fishing trip. This happened, then that happened... The next thing you know, I am meeting the very famous Kermin the Frog." Well, so much for that. Maybe we'll learn something new about him in the next book.

And that's where the entertaining part ends.

The rest of the book is split up into broad categories (money, friends, work, fashion, etc) for which Lewis wrote a series of one-liners. There's one or two on each page, leaving a lot of empty space. Even leafing through the book at the bookstore, you'd be able to tell that you're getting a lot of ink-less paper for your dollars. Even the money-grubbing Pepe would tell you that's not a good deal.

The book is small and short. It's only about 150 pages long, and if you read slow, you'll get through it in about an hour. It took me the better part of three days, because I grew very sleepy trying to weed through all of the "Okay"s and "Kermin"s.

The jokes are mediocre, but better than I thought, considering my expectations of both a Pepe book and a joke book. It's far from laugh-out-loud funny, but clever enough to avoid eye-rolling. I think the material would have worked much better if the book was written in the form of a narrative. The presentation made me feel like someone said to Robin Williams, "Ok, so you're a crustacean talking about polygamy. Go!"

Because everything is written from Pepe's perspective, none of the advice is actually good advice. That puts this book in a different category from Kermit's recent books, "It's Not Easy Being Green" and "Before You Leap," both of which double as an entertaining Muppet romp and an inspirational gift for high school graduates. Therefore, I can't figure out who the audience for this book is. It's not funny enough for the joke book crowd, it's not uplifting enough for the self-help people, it's not kid friendly enough for the young 'uns, it's not small enough for a stocking stuffer. As far as I can tell, I'm the only one in the demographic, and I've already got mine.

I'm guessing that Pepe's opus was only written for one reason: to have a book to sit in between "Before You Leap" and the upcoming Miss Piggy book, "The Diva Code." There are a lot of completists out there (yours truly included) who might want one of each of the series. And while that's a little sad for those of us who will get this book and never bother to open it, it might give hope that a book by Fozzie or Gonzo or Statler and Waldorf or Crazy Harry might be around the corner. Though hopefully they'll take a hint and avoid the inspirational genre. Kermit can pull it off. Greedy, slutty prawns can't.

Sorry to say, this book is not recommended. Unless you are Jim Lewis' parents, in which case you should be nice and support your son.
Click here to discuss this article on the ToughPigs forum, okay.

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

A Whatnot Photo Tour

Everyone: get out a pen and some paper. At the top of the page, write "[Your Name]'s Holiday Wish List". Now erase "[Your Name]" and actually write your name. Below that, write "My Very Own Muppet." Then underline, bold, and italicize. Yes, I know you can't italicize after it's already written; I was just testing you.

The Muppet Whatnot Workshop is open for business at New York's FAO Schwarz toy store, right across from the candy section. (Did you know you can buy M&Ms in any color you want?? I'm addicted to teal!) ToughPigs' own Ryan and ToughPigs' own I made a visit to the Workshop to see what all the hubbub was about, bub.

Sometimes (often) I forget that not everyone lives in New York, and they can't just hop over to FAO whenever they need a Tonka truck fix. The FAO Schwarz people thought of that and made the Whatnots available on their website. Still, there's lots of neat Muppety stuff in the Workshop itself, so we brought along a camera to show you everything Tom Hanks would have seen if only Big had been made 20 years later.What's a Whatnot? What a great question. It's like an Anything Muppet. What's an Anything Muppet? It's like a Whatnot. Eh, just read their Muppet Wiki articles.

Hey, it's all your favorite Muppet characters! The blue guy! The lady with the glasses! Tommy Lasorda!

There's something slightly morbid about Muppets hanging lifeless on a wall. But is it more or less so if they don't have names?

The FAO Schwarz people were stitching and hot gluing features onto the puppets like they've been doing it their whole lives. The wood and brick façade gave the place a Geppetto-like feel. But, y'know, owned by Disney.

ToughPigs' own Ryan tried one on to see how it manipulated. According to him, it was a bit of a squeeze getting his hand through the neck, but there was plenty of room inside the head for an adult-sized hand. He plans on customizing and buying one of his own soon, so keep an eye out for a possible review a bit later on.

There's a small conveyer belt with costumes running above the Workshop. Nothing too special about that, I'm just a big fan of conveyer belts.

My favorite part of the shop is the overhead lights. When you're standing underneath them, you can't tell that anything's special, but once you move away, you can clearly see the Muppet-esque eyes and nose. Rumor has it that at night, the entire Workshop comes to life and demands human sacrifice.

A TV screen was playing a loop of new Muppet content. The video with Kermit and Piggy from the FAO webpage played, as well as videos of Pepe outside the store handing out flyers, the Muppet Newsman (surprisingly performed by Dave Goelz, doing a bang-up job) with falling chickens, Reporter Kermit interviewing people on the street, a short bit with Bunsen and Beaker, and a short bit with Rizzo. The people working at the Workshop didn't know if the videos will surface online, but I sure hope they do. It was hard to hear over the tourists, but they looked like quality sketches. And with the new YouTube accounts, maybe a Whatnot will start one so he can share the wealth.

Twelve large framed pictures of the Muppets, all signed with well-wishes to the Whatnots, were posititioned around the Workshop. Click the images to embiggen and see what the fictional characters had to say about fictional non-characters.

A Whatnot Workshop t-shirt was also being sold. I couldn't find it on their website, so this might be an in-store exclusive. The front of the shirt has the Workshop logo and the back of the shirt has the eyes and nose seen above. Nearby, a merchandise shelf held Muppet DVDs, Kermit's book, and Pepe's book. I can't believe it took the addition of an entire Muppet wing to get FAO Schwarz to finally sell some Muppet merch.

Two glass cases were filled with some junk. Lots of limbs and fur and foam and pictures were tossed in, leaving people like me scanning every inch for anything of interest. Well, lo and behold, I found a few easter eggs!

Bunsen's half-a-head was on the bottom shelf of one case. The poor guy, bodiless and blind inside a shadow box.

Here's a bunch of eyes. But if you look close, you'll see that one of those eyes is actually a ping-pong ball! Remind you of anyone?

As we saw in Secrets of the Muppets, Gonzo is carved from a foam block whenever he needs to be replaced. So, does that mean this guy is a failed Gonzo clone?

If you look closely, you'll see some recent Miss Piggy stock art made for Muppet Studios, dated 7/15/08. Now, stock art is constantly being made, whether it's used or not. But let's hope this is an indication of more stuff coming our way.

Another fun bit to notice was the three doors in the Workshop, labeled "Crossed Eyes", "Over-Sized Noses", and "Single Socks". Oh those wacky doors! They were my favorite characters on The Muppet Show.

We also spotted a few stickers placed near the cash register. I came very close to ripping them off the wall and running, but those toy soldiers FAO has at the door aren't just for show.

I hope you got a glimmer of what it's actually like at the Whatnot Workshop. If you decide to place your order for your Whatnot online, now you can pretend you're actually there, admiring the feng shui.
Click here to choose a nose for this article on the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

ToughPigs Art: Unsettling, Hazards of Puppetry, Bad Joke

You know what I can't get enough of? Art by ToughPigs' own Smig! That guy sure can draw. Lucky for us, he likes to draw Muppety things! Just like these here:

Click here to wear spandex on the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant 2008: Place Your Votes!

Just look at that thing. That right there is an ugly Gonzo doll, sent to me by Tough Pigs' close personal friend Marianne. He's hideous, isn't he? And yet, I'm only including him here as a runner-up. It gets worse from here, friends.

I asked you people to send me pictures of ugly Muppet toys, and boy, did you deliver. I had an unbelievably tough time narrowing all the submissions down to a handful of finalists... in fact, I have enough that I could probably do another pageant before a year goes by.

Unsurprisingly, I got heaps of Kermits. But I wanted some variety in the pageant, so I had to decide which Kermits were the absolute ugliest Kermits so they didn't dominate the whole thing.

And now it's up to you to decide which toys are the ugliest of the ugliest, and which toy in particular is the ugliest of the ugliest of the ugliest. Below, you will find 17 finalists. Rate each toy on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "not that ugly" and 5 being "extreeeeemely ugly." You can also include your color commentary on each toy... A big part of the fun of the pageant is seeing how creatively the Tough Pigs readership can describe the repulsiveness of various toys.

Send your ratings and commentary to me at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com. And in a while -- say, two weeks or so -- I'll post the results, and we'll learn who gets to wear the ugly crown this year. And now, without further ado, some ugly toys:

Retro Kermit - Brass Key Collectibles, submitted by Jamie Badminton, Halfway Down the Stairs, and Joe Hennes

Gonzo doll - submitted by Jamie Badminton

Waldorf doll - Toy Factory, 2007, submitted by Tony Whitaker

Bert as a carpenter - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Animal finger puppet - Starbucks, 2003, submitted by DJTR


Kermit doll - submitted by Neil Whitman

Gonzo sugar bowl - Sigma, mid 1970s, found on Muppet Wiki

Guy Smiley beanie - submitted by Nancy P

Elmo as Oscar - Sanrio, submitted by Danny Horn

Animal and Fozzie - Sababa, 2003, submitted by Tony Whitaker

Miss Piggy in a carrot - Nanco, submitted by Joe Hennes

Wendy Loves Kermit - Madame Alexander, found somewhere on the internet

Big Bird bean bag - Knickerbocker, submitted by Tony Whitaker


Count doll - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Fozzie doll - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Elmo doll - submitted by Ryan Dosier

Oscar puppet - Applause, found on Muppet Wiki

There they are... It would take a mother to love any one of them. Send me your ratings now at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com, and check back here in a couple of weeks for the results!

Click here to talk about ugly toys and their mothers on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com