Christmas Present Ideas for Joe

If you're a huge [insert obscure comic book name here] fan like me, then you're probably following all the exciting news coming from the San Diego Comic Con. There's inter-company crossovers, fanboys and girls, and writers being treated like celebrities. Of course, nobody is coming to a Muppet fan website for news from Comic Con. That's what Newsarama is for.

Thankfully, for the comic book intolerant of you, there are lots of companies presenting their wares at Comic Con, just like in the opening number of episode 511 of The Muppet Show. Except there are no pies. And no pie salesmen.

This year, we were lucky enough for Master Replicas to be presenting their Muppet line of photo puppets. Kermit was there, which was released last year. But you know all about him already. You probably have him posed in some kind of lewd position over your bedpost. Yeah, I've seen the pictures.
First up is the Animal photo puppet. A picture of him was released a while back, but you can tell there has been some minor adjustments to his design to make him a little more feral and a little less... um, pointy. His hair is still a little all-over-the-place, but you can tell that he's got potential to be great once he's officially released. Unfortunately, because of the wild hair, his head is almost completely hidden. Hopefully once we can see him in real life, his design will make a bit more sense. Most ideal photo pose: slightly hunched over, eyes closed, panting, and ready to attack.
Next we've got the Gonzo photo puppet. A very rough design of his head was released to us a bit ago, but the additions look a little awkward. The photo makes it look like the last scene in Big when Tom Hanks starts to turn into a boy again, but he's still wearing the grown-up clothes. And speaking of clothes, the last time I checked, Gonzo's tux was purple. Though I wouldn't put it past him to wear bright pink as an artistic statement (possibly while eating a hi-fi system to the tune of "Baby Got Back"). Of course, the nose is far from the finished product. It's also the most important part of the puppet, since that's how most people will recognize him. Hopefully Master Replicas will find out how to make a good-looking schnozz out of a material that won't disintegrate after 6 months. Most ideal photo pose: belly dancing in a vat of butterscotch pudding.
Lastly we've got a Comic Con surprise. Fozzie Bear is the next photo puppet to be produced, and I couldn't be happier with their first stab at the comedian. Fozzie actually looks like he's in the middle of a joke that's bombing, but he doesn't yet know that the audience doesn't find him funny. He looks like he's actually alive, and for an early prototype, he looks better than Animal and Gonzo put together. Though the first thing you'd notice is that he's going to be a huge photo puppet. And while I love the idea that all of the Muppets will be to scale, I don't know any Muppet fans who will be able to afford the giant Fozzie. Well, maybe they'll shell out the money once he's wearing his hat. Most ideal photo pose: banana in one hand, rubber chicken in the other, trying to ignore the two old guys in the balcony.

Post-lastly, Master Replicas is reportedly working on a few more photo puppets that weren't quite ready for display yet. Rizzo is high on the list, as is Miss Piggy. Personally, I'd love to have the rat in my apartment, though that's mostly so he can kick out his mousey brothers. A Miss Piggy photo puppet would be spectacular, but she's reinvented her style more than Madonna, so who knows which version we'd end up with. There's also the possibility of accessory packs for each of the photo puppets, so feel free to let your imagination run wild.

So, start saving your dollars, because the Muppets are invading your house and they're aching to be posed, photographed, and left on the mantle to collect dust.

Click here to put this article in a provocative position on the ToughPigs forum!

Muppet Show Season 2: Poll Dancing

With just over 2 weeks until the second season of The Muppet Show finally graces us with its presence, all of our internal timers have begun their ultimate countdowns here at ToughPigs.com. There has been a couple of early reviews popping up around the interweb and the news sounds good. But we would like to know what you're most excited about.

Is it The Muppet Valentine Show? Or how about the fact that Disney managed to get all of the episodes out without any unnecessary edits? I'm guessing it's the new Muppets on Puppets featurette. Yeah, definitely that. Or the ever-elusive Teresa Brewer episode. Yep, one of those two. Oh wait, I know, I know. You're a Weezer fanatic, so you're excited about their "Keep Fishin'" music video. Oh, what college has done to you!

Then again, you've been thinking about these titillating extras for months now. Perhaps you're more concerned about the features that didn't make it onto the new DVDs. What could those features be?

There's a very good chance you're missing the [sic] and twisted Muppet Morsels. Or maybe you had your hopes up for some straight-up commentary. Better yet, some interviews with the Muppeteers and writing staff. Or perhaps you're feeling jilted at the prospect of the Weezer music video without the accompanying making-of documentary that aired on MTV2. As for me, I'm quite upset at the gaping hole that is the Kermit-Gonzo-Animal Skateboarding picture. No Muppet production is complete without it. Or maybe you're upset that the Steve Martin episode has been completely cut. Just kidding.

So be a dear and head on over to the ToughPigs forum where you can cast your vote for stuff that doesn't exist and for stuff that will exist on August 7.

Click here and here to take the poll and the other poll on the ToughPigs forum!

My Favorite Muppet of the Day: Day Five

Welcome once again to My Favorite Muppet of the Day, as we wrap up a week-long examination of whoever my favorite Muppet happens to be on any particular day. Who’s going to make the cut today? There sure are a lot of Muppets to choose from, and today’s the last day of the week, so I’d better pick a good one. That’s why I’m going to go with… Taminella Grinderfall from Tales of the Tinkerdee!

Wait, no. Is Taminella a good choice? She’s pretty obscure. Okay, okay… I choose Angel Marie from Muppet Treasure Island and The Muppets’ Wizard of Oz! No, wait – that’s an even worse choice. I mean, in Oz he had a tickling fetish, for crying out loud. So instead, my favorite is Pip. No – Pop! No – Roosevelt Franklin! Rugby Tiger! Mopatop! Waffle the Cow Monkey!

Dang, this is stressful. I need a favorite Muppet who’s laid back… a favorite Muppet who’s cool as a fuzzy cucumber. I think there’s one obvious choice, so that’s the direction I’ll go. My favorite Muppet today is Floyd.

Much has been written about how the Muppets are quietly subversive, and I can think of no better representative of this than Sergeant Floyd Pepper, bass player for the Electric Mayhem and all-around groovy cat. He doesn’t give off the obvious burnt-out hippie vibe of Zoot, but you can still tell Floyd has been around and seen a lot of crazy things in his life as a musician (heck, he’s seen Gonzo. That’s a pretty crazy thing right there.) Floyd goes along with all the madness that comes with being a Muppet, but you can always tell he knows he’s cooler than everyone around him.

How cool is Floyd? In the Kaye Ballard episode of The Muppet Show, he leads the band in a walkout because the show’s theme song is just too square. How cool is Floyd? He managed to hook up with Janice, who is one of approximately two female characters on the show. How cool is Floyd? Since The Muppet Show, he hasn’t had much to do because all the Muppet writers know they’re just not cool enough to write for him.

Floyd is performed by Jerry Nelson, which means he’s the best singer of the Electric Mayhem, although that’s not so difficult an honor to achieve when your bandmates include Animal and Zoot. On The Muppet Show, Floyd sang classics like “Ain’t Misbehavin’” and contemporary hits like “New York State of Mind,” and was equally at ease with both. It’s almost impossible to do a Beatles cover that’s as good as the original, but Floyd pulled it off with his soulful rendition of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.”

Floyd’s voice is cool. His way of speaking is cool (“We are, am, is and be, they whom are known as the Electric Mayhem!”). His hat is cool. His “hah-hah-hah” laugh is cool. In the early episodes of The Muppet Show, even his walk his cool… it’s sort of a rhythmic hipster mosey.

To summarize: Floyd is cool. He just is. And he does it all effortlessly. He never tries too hard to be cool, which makes him even cooler and which, to me, is the very essence of the Muppets at their best. And that’s why Floyd is my favorite Muppet today.

Man, this week has been fun, but there are still so many more Muppets, and so many more days. I might just have to do this again sometime. So, who’s your favorite Muppet today? Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum and tell the world! And click these links for part one, part two, part three, and part four to see who my favorite Muppets were earlier this week!

My Favorite Muppet of the Day: Day Four

Welcome back to My Favorite Muppet of the Day, a series of articles in which I tell you who my favorite Muppet is today. Let’s see… On Monday my favorite was a Muppet Show character, on Tuesday it was a minor character from Sesame Street and The Muppet Show, and yesterday my favorite was a Sesame Street character. Today I think I’m in a Fraggle Rock mood. So today, my favorite Muppet is Junior Gorg.

In the early episodes of Fraggle Rock, the Gorgs are basically the villains. It would have been easy to make them one-dimensional bad guys, but that’s not what the show is about, so Junior quickly becomes a lovable, eager-to-please goofball. He’s always trying to catch Fraggles, but it’s never really clear whether he knows what to do with them once he captures them. Eat them? Stomp them? Steal their tiny little Fraggle credit cards? Junior’s too good-natured to do any of that.

As the series went on, the Gorgs became more developed characters, occasionally getting their own major episode stories. It would be difficult for viewers to identify with Pa and Ma Gorg, the king and queen of the universe, so Junior became the show’s central Gorg. We're sad for him when we realize that his dearest friend is a radish in “The Great Radish Caper,” we worry about him when Wander McMooch takes advantage of his naivete in “Junior Sells the Farm,” and we freak the heck out with him when he sees his mom without a head in “The Great Radish Famine.” Who would have thought a pantsless giant could be such a sympathetic character?

As much as I love Ma and Pa, I think Junior is the greatest example of the high-tech puppet sorcery that went into bringing the Gorgs to life. When I watch the show, I never doubt for a second that Junior is a living, breathing fellow, and a frigging enormous one. Have you ever noticed how much energy Richard Hunt brought to each character he performed? Junior is no exception, and Hunt’s vocal performance is perfectly matched by Rob Mills (and later Frank Meschkuleit) inside the shaggy, pleasantly plump costume. Every once in a while we get to see Junior dance, and it’s always a good time for everyone.

So, let’s see what we got here... Junior Gorg boasts an ebullient, collaborative performance, a funny, likeable personality, and… oh yeah! There’s that one episode where he traps the Fraggles in a basket, and he’s sitting on the basket, and he hears Gobo’s voice calling to him, and his eyes go really wide and he says, “My bottom is talking to me!” That cracks me up every single time.

And that’s why Junior Gorg is my favorite Muppet today.

Click these links for part one, part two, part three, and part five to see who my favorite Muppets happened to be on other days. And click on these words to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

My Favorite Muppet of the Day: Day Three

Oh welcome, oh welcome, to our little site
We’re ever so glad you could join us tonight

Welcome back again to My Favorite Muppet of the Day, a week-long daily ode to whoever my current favorite Muppet happens to be. Click here for part one, and click here for part two. As you've probably guessed from the introduction -- and the large picture to the right -- my favorite Muppet today is Prairie Dawn.

You know, there was much ballyhoo about the introduction of Abby Cadabby as a female Sesame Street character in 2006, and there was similar ballyhooing in 1994 when Zoe showed up. But the fact is, Prairie Dawn has been on the show since its second season, doing her thing day in and day out as many other Muppet chicks have come and gone (Are there any fans of Roxy Marie, Lulu, or Merry Monster in the house?), and she’s a perfectly good female character. I think she’s quite ballyhoo-worthy.

I totally would have played with Prairie Dawn if she had attended my preschool. You could never be bored hanging out with Prairie, because she’s the kind of kid who always has to have something going on. I’d love to be in one of her pageants… I don’t care if I have to play a tree, an egg, a nose hair, or whatever; I’d just love to be in one of her productions, which boast some pretty impressive costume design and songwriting, considering she’s just a little girl.

One of my favorite Prairie Dawn moments comes on the Sesame Street Fairy Tale Album, which I owned on vinyl during my childhood Sesame phase. The Sesame Street Muppets take turns telling stories, and when it’s Prairie’s turn, she tells a lovely story of a girl named Annabelle who befriends a dragon. The album track includes a song called “What Does a Sleeping Dragon Dream Of?” and when I listened to the record as a child, it would often soothe me right to sleep. Prairie’s story doesn’t have the comedy of Bert and Ernie’s or the passion of the Count’s. It’s just a really nice story, and she tells it well.

Which is not to say Prairie can’t be comedic or passionate. In recent years I’ve come to realize that Prairie Dawn is just about the funniest straight man ever, and it’s because her deep desire for everything to go right is a desire not shared by many other Muppets. This is especially evident in her recent “Letter of the Day” sketches with Cookie Monster, in which she goes to great lengths to prevent Cookie from eating the day’s letter, despite the foregone inevitability of it all. Nobody does exasperation quite like Prairie Dawn.

As the story goes, Fran Brill was inspired to come up with the name “Prairie Dawn” when she saw a 8x10” glossy photo in her agent’s office of an aspiring actress named Prairie Dorn. Do you think Prairie Dorn feels ticked off today because Brill built a career in puppetry on a character with her name? I’d like to think she’s proud of her namesake. Prairie Dawn is strong-willed but definitely feminine (Do any little girls in real life wear bows in their hair any more?), which makes her a great role model for girls. She’s adorable when she’s frustrated, but frustration never prevents her from seeking perfection. Plus, she’s infinity times more interesting than her döppelganger Betty Lou. And that’s why Prairie Dawn is my favorite Muppet today.

Click these links for part one, part two, part four, and part five to see who my other favorite Muppets were and will be. And click these words right here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

My Favorite Muppet of the Day: Day Two

Welcome back to My Favorite Muppet of the Day, a week-long peek into my ever-changing Muppet love. Yesterday I chose a major Muppet star as my Favorite Muppet of the Day, but today I find myself drawn to a far more obscure character. As soon as I woke up this morning, I knew that my favorite Muppet of the day had to be Beautiful Day Monster. You may not recognize his name, but if you’re a Muppet fan, you’ve seen him around. This is a guy whose career has spanned from The Ed Sullivan Show to Sesame Street to The Muppet Show and beyond, which means he's a showbiz veteran with as much experience as Danny Kaye. (More, even. Danny Kaye was never on Sesame Street.)

I’ve always been fond of this crazy-lookin' monster, although for years I referred to him as “Got Anything Cheaper Monster,” after a travel agency sketch he did in the Paul Williams episode of The Muppet Show. The monster’s not very threatening in that appearance, but he can be when the situation calls for it. In an episode of The Jim Henson Hour, he was part of a roving gang of monsters who demanded money in a telethon for themselves, even going so far as to invade other TV channels to extort some cash. In the early days of Sesame Street, before Cookie Monster and Grover were established characters, he was all over the place, serving as the go-to monster. He annoyed Ernie, frightened Bert, and helped Kermit demonstrate the sound of the letter “B” (by blowing Kermit away and then bellowing at the camera, in a sketch that ensured a generation of children would grow up with a deep and intense fear of the second letter of the alphabet).

Perhaps his most striking appearance is in the sketch that gave him his name. In the “Beautiful Day” sketch, as seen on The Ed Sullivan Show, he destroys flowers, causes a rainstorm, and even shoots a chirping bird, all in an attempt to make a little girl unhappy. He’s so wicked, you can’t help but love him.

I’m a big fan of BDM’s design. The whole tall-headed, flat-faced, beak-mouthed thing is an unusual look, and I think it makes him stand out from the more generic Muppet monsters. I also love the way his mouth flaps open when he talks, which is a compliment I don't bestow on just anybody. It's been a while since we last saw him in a Muppet production, but I feel pretty confident he'll be back someday. He’s been performed by a million different puppeteers, and every performer gives him a slightly different personality, but when he’s performed well – as by Frank Oz on Sesame Street or Richard Hunt in the aforementioned “Got anything cheaper?” sketch – he’s a joy to watch. And that’s why Beautiful Day Monster is my Favorite Muppet today.

Check these links for part one, part three, part four, and part five to see who my other favorite Muppets are! And click hereabouts to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

Fraggle Rock on Boomerang (UPDATE: Debunked!)

Many apologies to anyone who read the article that used to fill this space. I incorrectly reported that Fraggle Rock was coming back to TV on Boomerang, but it seems that it is only true for UK-based Muppet fans.

So, y'know, check your local listings and all. And feel free to take anything I say with a modicum amount of skepticism.

Click here to publicly mock Joe on the ToughPigs forum!

My Favorite Muppet of the Day: Day One

“Who’s your favorite Muppet?”

When people ask me that – as they so often do, in chatrooms, at job interviews, at the dentist’s office – I’m never sure how to answer the question. I’ve been a Muppet fan my whole life, and there have been thousands of Muppet characters created for various productions in the three hundred and fifty years the Muppets have existed.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t have a single favorite Muppet. Instead, my favorite Muppet at any given time depends on a number of factors, including which productions I’ve watched most recently, which characters I might be personally identifying with, and what I had for lunch.

In fact, my favorite Muppet changes just about every day. If you ask me Tuesday who my favorite Muppet is, I’ll give you a different answer than I did on Monday. With that in mind, I’ve decided to post here every day this week, explaining who My Favorite Muppet of the Day is for each day.

To get things started, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell the world that my favorite Muppet today is Rowlf the Dog. Of all the Muppets, Rowlf is the one I’d most like to hang out with on a rainy Saturday. I imagine we’d play some cards, trade a few good jokes, trade a lot of bad jokes, share a nice big bowl of Kibbles ‘n’ Bits, and maybe if I asked him nicely, he’d grace me with a little tune on the piano.

Rowlf’s songs on The Muppet Show are always entertaining. One wouldn’t necessarily think that watching a puppet pretend to play the piano would be so riveting, but riveting it is. He didn’t appear backstage much on the show, due to being performed by the same dude as Kermit, but when he does it’s always a treat, and it’s just as exciting to see him doggin’ it on the big screen – most notably in The Muppet Movie’s legendary frog/dog duet “I Hope That Somethin’ Better Comes Along,” and in The Muppets Take Manhattan’s sequence spotlighting his new job working at a kennel, which I would argue is the funniest of the “Muppets find new jobs” scenes in the film. And who better than Rowlf to serve as the president of the Organization of Muppet Dogs in the “Secrets of the Muppets” episode of The Jim Henson Hour? I'd vote for him, if I were a Muppet dog. Heck, I'd vote for him for president of the United States... and because he's a dog, his term in office would last 28 years.

Rowlf has been around forever – his gig on The Jimmy Dean Show began back in 1963, when Coca-Cola cost a nickel and and an iPod cost $1.50 – and he’s a multi-talented entertainer. He can sing, he can play piano, and in “Veterinarian’s Hospital” sketches he can deliver some of the worst puns ever devised with expert timing. Rowlf the Dog is one cool cat. And that’s why Rowlf is my favorite Muppet today.

Check these links for part two, part three, part four, and part five to find out who my other favorite Muppets are! And click right about here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

Waiting for Book Club: Follow Up

We at the ToughPigs Institution for the Arts hope you enjoyed our Book Club presentation of the classic "Wait For Me." We do understand that some of our loyal readers may not be as educated or highbrow as us, so we would like to share some of our observations so that you can steal them and present them as your own opinions.

Special thanks to all the ToughPigs who let their feelings be heard. Stay tuned for future Book Clubs on the ToughPigs Forum!

To avoid spoilers, click here to read "Wait For Me" in its entirety.

Insufficient Elmo:Of course Elmo's going to feel inferior if he's trying to jump as far as Big Bird, who is at least six feet taller than him. And has legs he can operate independently. ~ Anthony

Having a smaller kid in your hangout group SUCKS. They keep you from going biking with your friends or getting ice cream. (I quote: 'Helping Elmo,' said Grover SADLY.) ~ Jogchem

Nurse Grover:Grover is just as tremendously helpful at knocking people/Elmo/things/roofs over when he isn't in his SuperGrover disguise. But he is much better at first aid. ~ Beth

I like Grover's "After I take care of Elmo" which sounds tremendously threatening. ~ Anthony

The writer kept downplaying Elmo's wound: "At last he found a tiny scratch." "He washed Elmo's tiny scratch." "He put a tiny bandage on it." What is the point of this? I get it, it's tiny. Does it make Elmo a sissy for crying about it? Is this just to a amplify the image that Elmo is younger and littler? Like I needed any more imagery after watching him repeatedly fail at simple tasks, and see his "friends" leave him behind in the dust. ~ Alaina

I think Elmo's lying about his boo-boo in a desperate cry for attention, and Grover knows it. ~ Ryan R.

Emancipated Elmo:Patty in Christmas Eve on Sesame Street isn't the only child on Sesame Street to suffer from lack of adult supervision. Elmo needed a mommy to point out the obvious. A committee should investigate why there aren't enough mommies to go around and some children on Sesame Street are stuck with leftover grandfathers and Susan and Gordan on loan. No Child Left Behind, right? ~ Beth

And where are Elmo's parents during all this? Why didn't they help Elmo with his injury? Do they know their young son is off cavorting with an old man he just met? ~ Ryan R.

Ernie & Bert & Big Bird:Ernie and Bert on a bench in the park reminds me of Statler and Waldorf in MTM. I expected them to call out something like " You call that a boo-boo? Booooo!" or "A red monster and a blue one! Lovey-dovey!" ~ Beth

Big Bird's roller skates are AWESOME. ~ Joe

Who do you think is pitching in the picture of Elmo striking out? My guess is Ernie, mostly because Bert and Grover don't have working fingers. ~ Ryan R.

Bert and Big Bird only got one scoop of ice cream on their cones, while Ernie got two scoops. Does this mean Ernie is a glutton, or just that Bert and Big Bird couldn't afford an extra scoop, in which case Ernie is a heel for eating his two scoops right in front of them? ~ Ryan R.

The Band:I think they are just random hobos who just picked up instruments. ~ Barry

Not all Muppet guitarists are lefthanded. ~ Jogchem

Grover's Grandpa:At first I was dismayed at the thought of Elmo and Grover's Grandpa "getting back at Grover". Grover is just a child. Then, I thought about how 95% of the things I do are out of spite...and I'm okay with that. Teach 'em young! ~ Alaina

I'm forced to wonder, did the events of this book force Grover to take precautions to never have his grandfather on Sesame Street again? It sure would explain a lot. And by "a lot," I mean it would explain one minor plot point. ~ Joe

Grover is related to a Professor Hastings lookalike. ~ Jogchem

Grover's grandpa sympathizes with Elmo's plight because if there's one thing people have less need for than a little kid, it's an old man. ~ Ryan R.

"Grover... was surprised to see Elmo in his grandpa's lap." That is completely sensible. ~ Ryan R.

Final Thoughts:"You're just the right size to fit on my lap" is a perfect pickup line. ~ Jogchem

Be patient with your scrawny friends, or else you'll miss out on ice cream and elephants. ~ Ryan R.
Click here to stop the waiting and chat more about this article on the ToughPigs forum!

Beverly Sills (1929-2007)

Sadly, Muppet Show guest star Beverly Sills passed away this week at the age of 78.

Miss Bev Sills was one of the great singers of country and western music. Some even called her the "queen of country." Wait.. that's not right. I have to get rid of Fozzie as my fact-checker.

You may remember her from episode 409 of The Muppet Show, in which she sang about ridin' and ropin' with the jug band, did a little tap-dancing, and had an all-out opera battle with Miss Piggy.

Although Beverly Sills was world-renowned for her opera singing, she is still referenced in most of her biographies as a "Muppet Show guest." Is it because it was one of the few times she appeared in popular culture, or is it because she gave us one of the greatest half-hours of television ever? In any case, the world has lost an incredibly talented opera singer and entertainer.

She's also quite the spoon-hanger.
Click here to help us remember Beverly Sills on the ToughPigs forum.

Waiting for Book Club

If you're new to ToughPigs, you may not be aware of something we like to call the ToughPigs Book Club. With the TPBC (not the accepted acronym), Muppet fans congregate to criticize, parodize, and maybe even say something nice about an old Muppet book. There may or may not be candy at the finish line.

Today's book is the classic "Wait For Me," starring the pre-talking-in-first-person Elmo and Grover's Grandpa, who was never seen before and has never been seen since. Coincidence? Yeah, probably.

After you read the book, please head on over to the ToughPigs forum and share your thoughts. It's the perfect excuse to join the club if you've been lurking about. Plus, y'know, making fun of Elmo. Isn't that the kind of thing the kids like to do these days? Then, next week we'll post the funniest and most brilliant responses here on ToughPigs.com.

Enjoy your Sesame book, and don't say we never gave you nothin'!




















Suggested Discussion Questions:

1. What is the theme of "Wait for Me"? Is it how to deal with inferiority? Or learning about proper first aid skills? Or maybe the sweet sweet satisfaction that comes with revenge?

2. Is there a natural balance of powers between Grover and Elmo? While one is up, the other is down, and never the twain shall meet. Or is Grover's Grandfather just playing the two monster kids like puppets from behind the curtain for his own enjoyment? I mean, what else are you gonna do with an AARP card?

3. Who are those guys in that funky band playing across the street from the zoo? Do you think they ever play at Birdland?



Click here to discuss this article on the ToughPigs forum!