Thursday, August 30, 2007

What's the Matter with KIDS These Days?


Seven miles underground, deep below an undisclosed location (okay, okay, it’s an IHOP in Lansing), the ToughPigs’ secret stash of rare Muppety goodness lies, waiting to be found like that crate at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. In our bunker, you’d find things such as a picture of Frank Oz performing the Jerry Nelson puppet, the lost soundtrack to Johnny Carson and the Muppet Machine, and yes, even the 1975 recording of Fur.

But among the real things we have, one rare goodie is issue #20 of “KIDS,” the only magazine written for kids, by kids. The issue was printed in September of 1973 and cost a shiny $0.85. Which, according to my dad, bought about 9 movies with popcorn for you and your date.

A very brief history of “KIDS”: the magazine was produced as much as possible solely by kids. This included the writing, illustrations, catering, roof tarring, tap dancing, and the like. They even had a 15-year-old editor. One of the young illustrators was Ray Billingsley, who created the comic strip “Curtis.” Co-founder Jeanette Kahn later founded Dynamite Magazine and became publisher of DC Comics. So, while the magazine itself didn’t fare too well in the few years it was around, it spawned some more successful careers.

As you can see from the cover of issue #20 above, this article was written and illustrated by young Newt Gingrich impersonator, Alan Fiore, along with Bernard Thompson (neither with any connection to “Curtis”). It also features Jim Henson’s amazing yellow-flowered-shirt-and-kerchief, as well as the floating face of Jerry Nelson.

The article title asks the eternal question, “Yes, But What’s A Snuffleupagus?” which is not really answered. I think he’s some sort of furry elephant. But elephants wear tutus, so I’m lost again.

Alan and Bernard were lucky enough to visit the set of Sesame Street where they met Jim Henson, Jane Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, Richard Hunt, Carroll Spinney (sic), Bonnie Lewis, Carolyn Wilcox, John Lovelady, and Kermit Love. The young journalists only spent a significant amount of time with Jerry, Richard, Frank and Jim, which is nothing to shake a stick at. Or to stick a shake at. Or to end a sentence with a preposition.

The boys got a full description on how SAM the Robot works, which included an electric wheelchair, fire extinguisher, and a very scrunched-up Jerry Nelson. They also watched Jim and Frank film a scene of Bert and Ernie going to bed. There are some beautiful shots of the set included in the article of Bert and Ernie’s beds up on stilts with the puppeteers underneath. Sadly, there’s no indication of which skit they were performing, but I’d like to think it was the eating-cookies-in-bed sketch. And that Alan got to take some cookie crumbs home with him.

Though the pictures are great, Alan and Bernard include some of their own renderings of SAM the Robot, Mr. Snuffleupagus, and how Big Bird works (including Caroll Spinney’s squished head).

I’m sure little Alan and Bernard went home that day with the satisfaction of having made their dreams a reality. And they lay their heads on their Superman pillows, wondering if anyone would believe their story. And then the next day, they’d go on an adventure for a one-eyed pirate’s treasure in order to save the Goon Docks. To quote the article, “It really felt like this was Alan’s birthday present from KIDS because that day was his birthday!!!” Truer words have never been spoken.Click here to discuss this article on the ToughPigs forum, the forum for adults who think they're kids, by adults who think they're kids!

***Special thanks to ToughPigs' own Alaina!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

NicheMuppet: A Reminder

Hey, everyone. Have you been enjoying the new season of Sesame Street? More importantly, have you sent me your NicheMuppet submission?

You can see this earlier post for the details, but basically, NicheMuppet is inspired by Abby Cadabby, the rising star on Sesame Street who was designed to appeal to little girls, and it's where you come up with a new Sesame Street Muppet calculated to reach a specific demographic, and send me a description (and a picture, if you're so inclined.) It could be a retired Air Force Muppet, a bobsled racing Muppet, or whatever, as long as it speaks to a particular segment of the potential audience.

Send your new character ideas to me at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com. The deadline is September 5. Now if you'll excuse me, Abby is about to turn me into a pumpkin.

Click here to share your excitement about this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

Monday, August 20, 2007

24 Reasons to Watch Season 2

The second season of The Muppet Show has now officially been out on the market for about two weeks. And if you're a decent sort of Muppet fan, you'll have already watched it several times, nitpicked it to death, and cried over all of the scenes with Miss Mousey.

But if you haven't watched the second season yet, you are in luck. I have gone through the trouble of picking out the very best scenes from every episode and prepared them in an easy-to-read format for your enjoyment.

So without further ado-doo-do-do-doo, here are 24 spectacular scenes and riveting reasons to watch The Muppet Show: Season Two.

Episode 1 - Don Knotts

The many faces of Don Knotts!

Episode 2 - Zero Mostel

There is nothing in the world more satisfying than Zero Mostel trying to murder Sam the Eagle with a hammer. Except maybe when he points his gun at Sam, then points it into his own mouth when Sam turns around, while Sam hardly flinches.

Episode 3 - Milton Berle

MAKEUP!

Episode 4 - Rich Little

It's comforting to know that world-famous impersonator Rich Little crashes and burns when he attempts to do the voices of Fozzie, Kermit and Piggy.

It's more comforting to know that Mark Hamill can do a better job at it.

Episode 5 - Judy Collins

Judy Collins' strung-out performance. Note her muffled bewilderment at Crazy Harry's explosion and the sincerity with which she sings a ballad in front of three incredibly creepy clowns.

Episode 6 - Nancy Walker

The biting honesty when Nancy Walker admits to Fozzie that the show is a flop, right after picking up his spirits with a jaunty song. It's like I'm watching an episode of "Rhoda"!

Episode 7 - Edgar Bergen

Charlie McCarthy does nothing but insult the Muppets in any way he can muster, only to be asked to join their motley clan. And how does he thank them? More insults! Thanks, you wooden jackass.

Episode 8 - Steve Martin

Richard Hunt's laugh. Go ahead, try not to think about it. You can't.

Episode 9 - Madeline Kahn

Because Madeline Kahn was once the sexiest, most talented women in entertainment.

Episode 10 - George Burns

Didn't want to dooo ittt...

Episode 11 - Dom DeLuise

Because where else will you find a sci-fi Dom DeLuise playing whack-a-mole with Merdlidops? Other than that one episode of "Studio 60", I mean.

Episode 12 - Bernadette Peters

Because all you really need is for Gloat, Miss Mousey, and Droop to believe in you.

Episode 13 - Rudolph Nureyev

Because Sam the Eagle spends a half hour convincing the Muppets to wear tuxedos, only to feel insulted when Rudolph Nureyev wears one.

Episode 14 - Elton John

Two words: shag carpet.

Episode 15 - Lou Rawls

Because no other show has a blurry Lou Rawls as a guest star.

Episode 16 - Cleo Laine

Because you can pinpoint the exact moment when Cleo Laine's career ended. Here's a two-word hint: Bruce Schwartz.

*EDITED to say that according to ToughPigs contributor David, despite Bruce Schwartz's best efforts, Cleo Laine's career apparently is alive and well. You can read all about it here.

Episode 17 - Julie Andrews

Because Julie Andrews owns a cow.

Episode 18 - Jaye P. Morgan

Because at one point, Jaye P. Morgan's head gets caught on fire.
And then she imitates Dr. Teeth's mouth-open-and-head-nodding-thing-that-Muppets-do-after-a-song-thing.

Episode 19 - Peter Sellers

Because it's the only Muppet Show episode that can possibly get away with a Nazi-esque character.

Episode 20 - Petula Clark

Shameless promotion.

Episode 21 - Bob Hope

Because I been through the desert on a horse with no knees...

Episode 22 - Teresa Brewer

Because Teresa Brewer is a fatty fatty boom batty. Lookit all those treats!

Episode 23 - John Cleese

Because the pirate sketch is the best non-Monty Python sketch ever performed by 1/6 of the troupe.

Episode 24 - Cloris Leachman

Because Cloris Leachman gets booed in the first 15 seconds of the show. By a bunch of vegetables.

And there you have it, folks. 24 episodes, 24 great reasons to buy season 2 on DVD. And if that ain't enough, maybe you should try the H.R. Pufinstuf fan site.

Click here to discuss awkward guest stars and animated gifs on the ToughPigs forum!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

NicheMuppet: A Call for Entries

The new season of Sesame Street (its 38th! Holy cow!) started on Monday, and it's as great and hilarious and star-studded as ever. Oh, and educational. It's that too. Word has it that every episode this season will include some kind of appearance by Abby Cadabby, the funny fairy with the poofy pom-pom pigtails. When Abby debuted last year, we heard a lot about how she was very carefully designed to appeal to little girls.

Now, it makes sense for a children's show to create a character aimed at little girls, because that's half their audience (not counting the grown-up nerds who still watch the show, like you and me). But it got me to thinking... what if Sesame Street wanted to target other demographics? More... niche-y demographics?

That's where you, the readers of Tough Pigs, come in. I want to hear your concepts for a brand-new Sesame Street Muppet calculated to appeal to a certain set of viewers. What if the show wanted to reach the stamp collectors in the audience? They could introduce a Muppet named Posty, who's covered in stamps, or who goes around sticking stamps on everyone. Or what if they wanted to grab the attention of the extreme sports crowd? They could bring in Gnarly Monster, who's obsessed with bungee-jumping off the roof of 123 Sesame St. or skydiving onto Hooper's Store.

Those are terrible examples, so you'll have to come up with a better one. Write up a description of YOUR idea for a new character -- their name, physical appearance, and who they're designed for -- and send it to me at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com. If you're feeling especially ambitious, you could include a drawing of your new Muppet... and if I like it, I'll post it here on the site. I reckon three weeks is a reasonable amount of time to get the job done, so look for the submissions to be posted here on or around September 6. I'll post a reminder or two in the interim, in case you're in the "forgetful" demographic. (By the way, that group already had its own Muppet representative.)

So what are you waiting for? The fly-fishing enthusiasts of the world need a Muppet that speaks to them! Send your submission to ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com today!

Click here if you can think of anything to say about this article on the Tough Pigs forum.

Monday, August 13, 2007

RIP Merv Griffin


Entertainment mogul Merv Griffin passed away this week at the age of 82. We at ToughPigs remember him for The Merv Griffin Show, which had Jim Henson and the Muppets as guest stars in 1977, then again in 1984 to promote The Muppets Take Manhattan.

You can read all about their appearances with Merv on the Muppet Wiki. In the meantime, keep on watching Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune in Merv's memory.

Click here to help us remember Merv Griffin on the ToughPigs forum.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Breaking News: The Muppets are funny

Hey, remember when the Muppets used to make funny things? Cast your mind back. I have fond memories of those days, and I've been missing them terribly.

So here's an example. Gonzo and Rizzo are asked by an interviewer, "What is friendship?" And Gonzo says, "Well, if you look at, you know, from his point of view -- or, actually, cause you're asking from my point of view... Okay, well, from my point of view, I look at it, see, what I do is I look it through his point of view."

He goes on. "And when I'm looking through Rizzo's eyes at me, feeling things about him, to describe our friendship... then, what I'll do is, I'll get some therapy, and, uh..."

"Wait a second, wait a second," Rizzo interrupts.

Gonzo says, "Wait, what was the question?"

"This is a very complicated answer," Rizzo shrugs.

Gonzo explains that he's been in therapy for fifteen years. The interviewer asks, "Ever thought of changing your therapist?"

"I don't have a therapist," Gonzo says. "I do it myself."

"Self-therapy," Rizzo adds.

"Yeah," Gonzo nods. "It's cheaper that way."

And there you go, it's as easy as that. Point a camera at a couple of Muppets, and that's what they do; they act funny. Now that you think of it, it's amazing that they haven't tried it before.

This exchange, by the way -- I should explain where this exchange comes from -- it's from the new Muppet Show: Season Two DVD set, which is coming out next week. There's a bonus feature called "The Muppets on Muppets", which is twelve minutes of this kind of stuff.

Miss Piggy claims that she has a vacation house in Maine where she hosts elaborate parties. Fozzie asks Kermit why he gets so upset when he talks about Piggy. Pepe says that he has three secrets for success, which he calls Pepe's three secrets for success, okay, and he can't tell you the first one, because it's a secret. Animal, straining at the end of his chain, admits that he likes bunny rabbits.

It's just good stuff, good ol' fashioned Muppets being amusing type stuff. It feels like it's improvised -- but it might just be the kind of writing and performing that makes you think it's improvised. The performers slip right into these characters with a natural, easy charm, as if it hasn't been two years since their last movie.

Oh, and there's also some Muppet Show episodes on this set, a whole season's worth, and it's a great season, too. John Cleese is forced to sing "To Dream the Impossible Dream", Rudolf Nureyev performs "Swine Lake" with a giant pig ballerina, Miss Piggy hires Scooter to bribe the audience, Bernadette Peters sings "Just One Person" to cheer up Robin the Frog.

They're comfortable enough with the show at this point to start playing with the format, so they hold auditions for new acts in the Steve Martin episode, and the pigs take over the show in the Cloris Leachman episode. "Pigs in Space" is introduced, Beaker joins Bunsen Honeydew in the Muppet Labs skits, and the whole show just comes together in surprising and remarkable new ways. If you haven't seen these episodes in a long time -- this is where your fond memories of the show begin.

The episodes are uncut, which is unbelievably great, and they look gorgeous and clear. And The Muppet Valentine Show is on it, and the Weezer video. I even like the packaging; they didn't use the tired old ugly poser photos that have been ruining my day since 1999. I honestly can't say a bad thing about this set, and anybody who can is just being persnickety for the sake of it.

Remember when the Muppets were funny? They're being funny right now on my TV -- old funny stuff and new funny stuff, just like we've been waiting for. I love it. Make more of everything.

Click here to talk about the new DVD set on the Tough Pigs forum!