Kermit the Ford

It’s tough nowadays to turn your television on and find a Muppet. It’s even tougher to find these elusive creatures at your local movie theater. One may ask one’s self, “One, where can I find the Muppets in this time of economic crisis?” Well, you’ve probably got that Frog Prince Laserdisk collecting dust on your shelf. But I don't think that wasn’t what you were asking.

As the world’s television-watchers are congregating at YouTube, the former YMCA patrons are pow-wowing at MySpace, and the future leaders of tomorrow spend their days at the ToughPigs forum, it seems that anything worth seeing is showing up on the internet. And if there’s anyone who can feel at home amidst the chaos that is the Information Superhighway, it’s Kermit the Frog.

Kermit has been selected as Ford’s spokesfrog for their new Ford Escape Hybrid car. He’s since been seen in a commercial, as well as several faux-commercials on American Idol. But I guess none of that was good enough for the American people. No, it’s not enough to want to save the environment; we need more Frog to get us to buy a Hybrid. So Ford’s plan was to slap Kermit onto their webpage, thus securing car sales from hipsters, old people, and robots. Oh, and probably my dad.

I for one was quite impressed with the Kermit content on the Ford website. The first image we’re treated to is Kermit dressed in his newsman getup, which is already enough to get me to squeal like a 1950s housewife who just saw a cartoon mouse run across the kitchen floor. Kermit then tells us that he is “on location in the internet,” which made me wonder how they crammed a puppet into my laptop. After breaking it apart to see how the internet works, I went back to the website to hear Kermit’s sales pitch.

But first, a history lesson. This isn’t the first time Kermit has appeared in the internet. Back in historic 1999, the MuppeToons were a short series of computer-animated Muppet skits on the now defunct MuppetWorld.com. Each of the cartoons poked fun at the fact that the Muppets were actually in the internet. One in particular featured Kermit singing “The Kermambo,” which he had to perform live every time someone clicked on the link due to a server error. You can’t make this stuff up! Well, you can, but that would be copyright infringement.

The Muppets were also stuck in your computer once before in the Muppets Inside CD-ROM game, but that’s a computer, not the internet. So it’s hardly relevant. I don’t even know why I brought it up.

What was I talking about? Dang, I hate when that happens. You go off on one little tangent and… oh yeah! The Ford website. Right. So Kermit gives his little spiel about the car and waits for you to click around. Just like the real Kermit, you can tickle him (with your mouse, which is most definitely not how you tickle the real Kermit). Unfortunately, he learns quick and develops an immunity to tickling. I also suggest doing nothing for a while. I know, I say that a lot, but in this case you’ll hear Kermit plead with you to click something. He’s got a few different comments, so be sure to listen to them all.

Then, there are four icons on the bottom of the page. Each of these has another Kermit with another thrilling tale of debauchery and deception and… a car. On one, he is wearing an adorable lab coat. In all four, it’s the full-bodied Kermit puppet, which helps me to forget that there’s some dude named Steve standing underneath him. And like the first page, these Kermits can be tickled and they will make a few comments when you don’t click around for a while.

I very much enjoyed Kermit’s jokes. They were all in character (read: no more “It really is easy being green” jokes) and reasonably witty. He jokes about his lack of eyelids and he tries to eat a virtual mosquito. My only problem was that they reused some of the jokes on different pages. There are different punch lines for a couple, but some of them are word-for-word. Still, I’m happy to have at least 4 or 5 Kermit lines per page. That’s more new Kermit content than we’ve gotten in a long time.

All in all, I’m happy with seeing all the Kermit love (note: not Kermit Love) on the Ford website. Some of my fellow Muppet fans may see this as the Muppets selling out, but remember, Jim Henson got his start doing commercials for Wilkins back in the 1950s. And even still, if Disney refuses to put more Muppets on TVs and on movie screens, the internet is happy to pick up the leftovers. And that’s really what the internet is all about, isn’t it?

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Avenue D(ocumentary)

Everyone's favorite Sesame Street parody, Avenue Q, is set to be featured in the upcoming documentary ShowBusiness: The Road to Broadway. The film documents the hottest musicals from the last few years and their rise to Broadway and to the Tony awards.

But hey, where else are you going to see Kristin Chenoweth, Rosie O'Donnell, Boy George, and John Tartaglia in the same film? Not in the new Harry Potter, that's for sure!

ShowBusiness... comes out to mixed reviews in select cities on May 11th. You can check out the preview here.

Discuss this article at the ToughPigs forum by clicking here. A-five six seven eight!

REMINDER: Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza

This is another quick reminder that the deadline for the Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza is coming up next Monday, April 30. For guidelines on submissions, see this article.

Don't forget, if you don't have any Muppet fan art drawn by your younger self or a kid you know, you can create some new art in kid style for exhibition in a separate category.

The entries are looking great so far, so don't delay, send your li'l Muppet fan art to ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com today!

Join us in talking about this over at the Tough Pigs forum.

Tickle This Book

During the Great ToughPig Hiatus of 2006, many great things happened in the world of Muppet fandom. For the first time EVER, Sesame Street had a 37^th season. Puppet Up debuts and delivers Mr. Guy into the hearts of children worldwide. Muppets appeared on TV shows like Martha, The Tony Danza Show, Jeopardy, The Late Late Show, and E! True Hollywood Story: Miss Mousey. (Note: the last one may or may not be made up. I am too lazy to fact check.)

One important Muppet product that we didn’t get a chance to criticize is Kevin Clash’s book, “My Life as a Furry Red Monster.” The book was written by the top half of Kevin Clash’s head with Gary Brozek.

When Caroll Spinney wrote “The Wisdom of Big Bird” in 2003, he wanted to write it as an autobiography, but instead wrote it as a compilation of life lessons to boost sales. Kevin Clash must have gotten the same memo because his book is set up similarly. With chapters like “Love, “Creativity, “Tolerance,” and “Cooperation,” Clash uses stories about his childhood, working on Sesame Street, and things that happen to Elmo in his everyday, crayon-drawn life to illustrate what he has learned about the overlaying topic. Sadly, crayon-drawing is not one of the chapter headings, though I’m sure Elmo has taught Kevin a lot about the subject.

Speaking of illustrating, in the copy I bought, each chapter includes a cute pencil drawing of Elmo by Louis Henry Mitchell. As much as I enjoyed the pictures (no sarcasm intended), these are the only images in the entire book (with the exception of the dust cover). I was a bit disappointed at the lack of photographs which normally grace an autobiography, but hey, that’s what the Muppet Wiki is for. Actually, I was just hoping for a picture of Kevin puppeteering Juggles the Juggler.

Anyway, back to the words or whatever. Like I said, each chapter has a mix of stories from several different points in Clash’s life. At first, this is a bit confusing since he is taking us on a trip back and forth through time without a DeLorean. But after the first chapter or two, we get used to it and even begin to look forward to it. By the last few chapters, I found myself wondering what Elmo would have though of this anecdote, or how he learned how to share from working on Captain Kangaroo. Y’see how that works?

The last Muppet-related book I read before this was “Sesame Street Dad” by Roscoe Orman (take a looksee here for my review). As much as I enjoyed it, my main gripes were that there wasn’t enough Sesame-related material and that Orman bored me from time to time with lists and facts, rather than to emote his experiences to us. I had neither of these problems with the Furry Red book. With this book, you’re guaranteed to get at least one or two Sesame stories per chapter. Plus, his experiences watching Sesame Street, working as a teenaged puppeteer, and working on shows like Captain Kangaroo and Great Space Coaster are just as exciting as when he’s working with red fur clinging to his arm.

On top of it all, his stories suck you in, whether he’s writing about meeting Jim Henson for the first time or if he’s telling you about a car ride with his family, you will feel like you’re there with him and that you can’t wait for him to succeed and live the dream so many puppeteers can only hope for.

I wholeheartedly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys Sesame Street, puppets, television, monsters, America, bathrobes, spare keys, rectangles, gum, or none of the above. It’s a keeper.

I give this book 5 Mr. Noodles out of 5. And now if you'll excuse me, I've got many questions to ask to a baby.

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Waldorf/Statler 2007

My fellow Americans,

Ask not what a Muppet production can do for you, ask what you can vice versa and all that switcheroo nonsense.

Statler and Waldorf's From the Balcony from Movies.com has been nominated for a Webby Award. But the only way it can be recognized as the best thing the internet has ever spewed forth is by voting. It's the American way! Or, y'know, create a bunch of fake e-mail addresses and vote a hundred times. They won't catch you, don't worry.

Cheating: it's the real American way.

Just click here, register, go to the Online Film & Video area, and look under Comedy: Long Form or Series.

Click here to discuss whether you voted Muppocrat or Republifraggle on the Tough Pigs forum.

REMINDER: Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza

This is just a quick reminder that the deadline for the Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza is Monday, April 30, two weeks from today. For the details on submission guidelines, see this earlier article.

We've gotten some great entries so far, including some Fraggle Rock, Sesame Street and Muppet Show art. So keep 'em coming! Send your kiddie Muppet fan art to ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com today!

We're talking about this over at the Tough Pigs forum.

Roscoe Lee Browne (1925-2007)

We at ToughPigs.com remember Roscoe Lee Brown, who passed away earlier this week at the age of 81.

Jim Henson Creature Shop fans may have recognized his voice as the narrator for Babe. Other astute fans have seen him in an array of guest starring roles in television shows like "The Cosby Show," "Soap," and "Columbo."

Help us remember Roscoe on the Tough Pigs forum by clicking here.

CALL FOR ENTRIES: The Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza!

I was just admiring this picture I drew of Kermit the Frog, back when I was about ten years old, and it gave me an idea. Surely I can’t be the only one who’s held onto his old work. There must be other Muppet fans whose childhood artwork was preserved for posterity after it came off the refrigerator, and I know there are some youngsters out there today with a few Muppety drawings in their tiny portfolios.

There’s something pretty wonderful about kid fan art. Just look at that Kermit drawing! I approached it with pure enthusiasm for the subject. I loved Kermit, he had given me a lot of happiness, and I wanted to return the favor by capturing that happiness in a likeness of him. The picture was drawn in pencil, but innocence was the true medium.

Or maybe that’s all a load of hooey and it’s just a chubby Kermit with tiny arms and an inexplicably white collar.

Either way, the fact remains that kid fan art is neato with a capital O. With that in mind, I’d like to announce a call for entries for a new, exciting, and extremely cute exhibition: The Young Muppet Fans Art Extravaganza! If you have any Muppet-related drawings, paintings, or sculptures created by kids, scan them or take photos of them, and e-mail them to ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com.

Here are a few guidelines, because, let’s face it, you gotta have guidelines or you end up with pure chaos:

•Kid Muppet fan artwork must have been created by a child 13 years old or younger. Big kids’ art is tainted by the bitter, jaded worldview they inevitably develop starting on their 13th birthday.

•If you don’t have any of your own old work, you could submit some art by a kid in your life… your offspring, relatives, students, whatever. I’d love to see some contemporary Sesame Street works or some Bear in the Big Blue House art in amongst all the old Muppet Show stuff.

•If you don’t have any old work of your own, and you don’t know any children, I will allow submissions created in the style of a child for a separate exhibition category, preferably using one of these media: crayon, non-toxic markers, finger paint, or Play-Doh. For extra childlike authenticity, I recommend using your non-dominant hand. So if you’re right-handed, try drawing with your left hand, and vice versa.

•The deadline for entries is April 30, three weeks from today. That should give you plenty of time, right? I’ll post weekly reminders here until then.

Again, you can send your entries to ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com. I’m really looking forward to seeing what kind of art comes in. I’m sure we’ll get some masterpieces, and once they’re exhibited, the art world will never be the same.

Click here to discuss this article on the Tough Pigs forum!

Who is your favorite Muppet Easter Bunny?

I simply MUST know! Could it be Harvey Fierstein? Or perhaps Large Lavender? Surely it's not Bernie!

Head on over to the Tough Pig Forums and go toe-to-toe with your fellow Muppet fans (I'll warn ya, some of them may have voted for John Candy).

Click here to join the debate on the Tough Pigs forum!