Earlier this month, I posted everyone's favorite multiple personality disorder-inducing Sesame Street book, Just Like Ernie, which you can read in it's entirety by clicking here. Unfortunately, if you missed out on reading it way back when, then you missed out on saying funny things about it, and then getting your name up in lights (pixels on your computer screen are like lights, right?).
Thankfully for all of us, we've got some funny folks over on the ToughPigs forum who did the heavy lifting, as well as a few readers who sent in their comments via e-mail. But don't take my word for it, let's see what those cats had to say about Just Like Ernie:
IDENTITY THEFT:Mo: Ernie is a wise man. By nurturing his friend's self-esteem, he may have headed off a wicked case of identity theft at the pass.
Jog: Bert's not the only one with an identity crisis... what's Ernie's reason for wearing a "cool jacket" and sunglasses anyway? Isn't the whole point of the book that you're cool in your own style; in Ernie's case, sans sunglasses and with a good old stripy sweater?
That jacket, for instance, reveals a desire to be more like Scooter.
Michal: Bert is no match for Ernie's burgeoning social life. Between Ernie's weekend gigs and telling jokes to his sycophantic playground pals, Bert has been getting zero Ernie face-time. He won't stay Ernie's best friend for long unless he does something drastic. His only recourse is to assume an alternate identity, Mrs. Doubtfire-style.
ERNIE IS COOL; BERT IS LAME
Michal: Good gravy, I wish Chris and the Alphabeats would ask *me* to play a set with them every time I ordered ice cream. What a life Ernie's got. No wonder Bert wants in.
Ryan: I know we're supposed to feel sorry for Bert when nobody laughs at his joke, but to be fair, it's a pretty sucky joke.
Steven: If Bert is depressed that no one likes him, just get some cookies and persuade Cookie Monster to be his friend for them since Cookie Monster only cared about what's inside Ernie's lunchbox.
Jog: I wonder if Ernie uses his cool image to take the attention away from that dorky tricycle of his. Dude can't even ride a real bike.
Ryan: "Ernie ordered a Banana-Dana Super Sundae. Bert had a small dish of vanilla ice cream." Ernie may be cooler than Bert... but we'll see who has the last laugh when Ernie gets a cavity!
Jenny: This book makes a laughable attempt to pass Ernie off as "cool", when in reality he's nothing but a sadistic jackhole. The other denizens of Sesame Street see Bert as a warning - this will be them if they don't placate Ernie, and so they pretend to admire him. Lately Ernie's ego has inflated dangerously - he's tired of the "Bert and Ernie" dichotomy, and he's made it known to his friends that Bert will be ignored if they know what's good for them. Bert, in a desperate, last-ditch effort to ingratiate Ernie, begins to imitate him, and fails disastrously. Ernie is unimpressed by this sad parody, and makes his disproval clear by usurping Bert's possessions - insinuating Bert won't be needing them for much longer, unless his Ernie homage does the man justice. Rather than up his game, Bert opts for the sweet release of death, rather than the living hell of being Ernie's roommate for another 40 seasons.
BERT’S HAIRMo: I am worried that if I ever meet someone with that hairdo, I will accidentally bread and fry their head in juicy cutlets. Mmmm... Muppet-head Parmesan...
Michal: His slicked-back hair may look hip now, but just wait until he busts out into "You're the One That I Want."
Jarrod: Bert's little "cool dude" hair is just a comb over that makes him look like he's balding. And no-one likes bald people. Besides Gordon. That dude RULES!
ERNIE’S UNDERWEARRyan: So, why DO we see Ernie in his undies? I was so sure it was going to turn out that Bert had stolen his pajamas, but that never happened. In fact, we never even find out whether Ernie found his pajamas. So where are they? I demand a sequel!
Michal: Either Ernie's boxers bunched up, or his naked bum has a wacky tanning pattern. But I refuse to believe that Ernie wears briefs.
Lara: I have just seen a mostly naked childhood friend in his underwear. And I have nothing more to say.
THE LUNCHBOXCathy: So when did Cookie Monster get a licensing deal and why don't any of his friends find that odd?
Ryan Mead: Cookie Monster isn't even startled that his own picture is on the box- he's just curious as to the contents. Given that he probably thinks there's cookies inside, I'm not surprised, but it seems rather unusual that his first thought would be "me want cookie" rather than "oh yeah, me remember posing for that lunch box" or "hey, that unauthorized use of me image." But then again, Cookie Monster doesn't seem like the type who would know about either licensing deals or legal matters.
Beth: Isn't it a bit odd that Cookie Monster is depicted as a superhero, when this is usually Grover's job? Maybe Cookie is trying to steal Grover's identity as well!
Cathy: Also, Ernie finds it strange that Bert is trying to be like him, but he doesn't see a problem with carrying a lunchbox with his friend's face on it? If one of my casual friends started carrying around a lunchbox with my picture on it, I'd probably be a touch creeped out. Perhaps Ernie is the one with the case of identity envy?
Jarrod: Is Super Grover aware of this sudden new Super Cookie? Or is he a villian? The Cookienator. Watch your back, Grover. It's always the person you'd least suspect...
UNDER BERT’S BEDScott: What's Ernie doing snooping under Bert's bed while he sleeps? It's not like he just noticed a box of paper clips and went in closer to investigate. He actually had to go out of his way to get down on the floor (in his underwear) and move away the blankets that were obscuring his view. Does Ernie regularly check under Bert's bed after he goes to sleep? I can imagine a sketch on the show in which Ernie creates an idea in his head that looking under Bert's bed is imperative to his friend's safety. But it's harder to grasp in storybook land where Bert and Ernie don't fly planes or drive cars, but instead go to school and carry lunchboxes.
Joe: Yeah, but if they tried that on the show, Ernie would look under the bed and find Frank Oz.
Steven: Unless, Frank Oz puppeteers Cookie Monster who is under the bed looking for cookies crumbs since his sleepover there with Ernie.
THE MORAL OF THE STORYJes: You had me at Ernie's underwear....
Click here to dress like your roommate on the ToughPigs forum!joe.toughpigs@gmail.com
