Rerun for Your Life

There's been a lot going on in the news over the last few weeks, and unfortunately our news writers are all on strike. So here's a brief catch-up on the highlights:

The Muppet Show: Season 3 has been announced for a May 20, 2008 release. All 24 episodes are there, and they'll hopefully be edit-free. Fozzie's extreme closeup made the cover, and the special features include the new documentary, "The Making of the Muppets" and the old documentary, "Muppets on Puppets."

Fraggle Rock: Season 4, also known as Seasons 4 and 5 (HBO split the final production season into two broadcast seasons) will be out on DVD this fall. Not much more information than that has been added, but we're all that much closer to owning all documented footage of Fraggle spelunking.

And most recently, the Jim Henson Company has announced that they will be making the entire series of Fraggle Rock and Farscape available on iTunes. Episodes will cost $1.99 each, and the first seasons of each are already online.

So there you have it, lots of old Muppety stuff to watch and to watch out for.

Take a peek at the ToughPigs forum to discuss the above newsbits!

Mr. McAllister's Wonder Disaster

Come, my darlings, and let me read you a story. It’s a story full of magic, suspense, clinical depression, sombreros, the bastardization of Christmas, and one Very Brief Cameo.

Once upon a time, as far back as you or I can remember, even as far back as November, 2007, a mediocre movie premiered called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. The movie starred a very old Willy Wonka and his magical Wal-Mart. He is joined by the weird girl from Garden State and Teen Wolf Jr. Oh, and that kid who wouldn’t take a shower in Wet Hot American Summer.

You may ask yourself, “What sort of craziness will come of the unification of such minds?” Well yourself, nothing short of the finest art imaginable! That is, assuming “finest” means “below par, and slightly painful.” If that’s what you meant, then you were right on target. Sorry if you thought.. y’know, skip it. Just try not and get your hopes up.

In the should-have-been-straight-to-DVD Blockbuster hit, Mr. MacGonacle’s Wonderful Monacle, a crazy old man hangs out with kids, prophesizes his own death, watches his store (read: not a euphemism for his libido, we swear.. no, really) crumble to pieces, and (SPOILER ALERT) dies, passing all of his responsibilities (read: debt) along to his daughter-like protégé. I assure you, none of the story has anything to do with why you’re reading about this on a Muppet fan site.

About 14 minutes into the film, in the middle of a montage of what it would be like to hang out in a store like this without parental supervision, money, school, or brand names, our very own Kermit the Frog makes a cameo as himself.

I now present to you the full scene of Kermit’s appearance.

INTERIOR, DAY

KERMIT THE FROG ENTERS AISLE CARRYING A SHOPPING BASKET

KERMIT (BROWSING): Ooh. Aha.

KERMIT NOTICES KIDS

KIDS (STARING LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN A TALKING FROG BEFORE): Tee hee.

KERMIT: Heya. Just, uh, (NODS) uh, shopping. (MORE NODS) Shopping. (EVEN MORE NODS) Just, um, shopping.

KERMIT EXITS

And 13 glorious seconds after it began, it is all over. The movie, in case you were wondering, has another hour and 15 minutes to go, which is sufficient time to think of about 11,000 better ways to have spent your $10.75.

So, would I recommend Mr. Willowby’s Wonder Tree? Ye gods, yes! 13 seconds of Muppets in a feature film is the most screentime they’ve gotten since 1999! Totally worth sitting through Dustin Hoffman’s Bugs Bunny impression.

By which I mean, please don’t go see this movie. Kermit will be just fine without the proceeds of this film. If he can survive that cameo in Glitter, he can survive anything.

Click here to come up with more funny words that sounds like "Magorium" on the ToughPigs forum!

The Easiest Muppet Trivia Quiz Ever!

Have you ever wished you were a Muppet expert, but you don’t have time to memorize Jim Henson: The Works, pore over DVD extras, or read every page of Muppet Wiki, because you’re too busy doing things like working, cooking, and using the restroom? Of course you have! It feels great to be an expert at something!

Tough Pigs is here to help, with yet another valuable public service! It’s the Easiest Muppet Trivia Quiz Ever, and by the time you’re finished, you will feel like a true Muppet geek, guaranteed, or we’ll give you your money back. Heck, we’ll give you twice your money back! Now break out your No. 2 pencils and your thinking caps, and away we go!

1. As the story goes, Jim Henson made the first Kermit the Frog puppet out of…
a) His mother’s green spring coat
b) a bowling ball
c) the skins of 11 ½ real frogs
d) a Sababa Kermit doll


2. The first TV show starring the Muppets was a local Washington, D.C. program that debuted in 1955. What was it called?
a) Sam & Friends
b) Sam & Casual Acquaintances
c) Sam & People Who Hate His Guts
d) Shasta McNasty


3. The Muppet characters Jim Henson created for a series of Wilkins Coffee commercials were called…
a) Wilkins and Wontkins
b) A Drunk Old Man and Another Drunk Old Man
c) Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin
d) Dwight D. Eisenhower and Richard Milhous Nixon


4. Where did Jim Henson meet Frank Oz?
a) At a puppetry festival
b) At a cocktail party – they both showed up wearing the same dress, had a good laugh about it and became fast friends
c) At karate lessons
d) In prison


5. Rowlf the Dog first rose to national television fame on what 1960s variety show?
a) The Jimmy Dean Show, in regular appearances alongside Jimmy Dean
b) The Fugitive, as the one-armed man who killed Richard Kimble's wife
c) Laugh-In, as a miniskirt-clad background go-go dancer
d) CBS Evening News, as the anchor


6. Who has been Big Bird’s primary performer since Sesame Street premiered in 1969?
a) Caroll Spinney
b) Carol Channing
c) Cookie Monster
d) Nobody; he’s a real, live 8’ bird


7. What was unusual about the Gorch Muppets featured on the first season of Saturday Night Live in 1975?
a) They had lifelike taxidermist’s eyes
b) They had outie belly buttons
c) They were all gay
d) They were performed not by Muppeteers, but by dentists


8. Who financed the production of The Muppet Show?
a) Lord Lew Grade, a British television entrepeneur
b) Lord Lew Zealand, Boomerang Fish Thrower of the British Empire
c) The Lord of the Dance
d) Your mom!


9. The Great Muppet Caper’s “Couldn’t We Ride” musical number, a tour de force of puppet wizardry, features the Muppets doing what?
a) Riding bicycles while singing
b) Sleeping
c) Silently staring at the camera
d) Wearing socks with sandals


10. The 1984 film The Muppets Take Manhattan includes the debut of what group of characters, who would later star in their own Saturday morning cartoon?
a) the Muppet Babies
b) the Golden Girls
c) the Opera-Singing Zookeepers
d) the Horrible, Foul-Smelling, Foul-Mouthed Cannibals


11. What was Jim Henson’s pitch to his creative team for Fraggle Rock?
a) “I want to create a show that will bring about world peace”
b) “I want to create a romantic comedy for arsonists”
c) “I want a do a hard-boiled crime drama set in a castle made of pink cotton candy”
d) “MTV cops”


12. What happened to Mr. Snuffleupagus on Sesame Street in 1986?
a) The grown-ups on the street saw him for the first time
b) He married Maria
c) He made the Statue of Liberty disappear
d) He shot Larry Hagman


13. Jim Henson’s hour-long 1989 variety/anthology show was called…
a) The Jim Henson Hour
b) The Vicki and Leon Show
c) Lots and Lots of Really Scary Buckets of Blood
d) Howie Hayseed & Yancy Yokel's Country & Western Jamboree






14. Who took over Kermit the Frog after Jim Henson’s passing in 1990?
a) Muppet performer Steve Whitmire
b) Lawyer Alan Dershowitz
c) Cosby Show star Lisa Bonet
d) Vice president Dan Quayle


15. The 1992 Muppet film The Muppet Christmas Carol, set in Dickensian England, was based on what book?
a) A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
b) Babysitters Club Mysteries #7: The Case of the Vanishing Training Bra
c) Latawnya, the Naughty Horse, Learns to Say "No" to Drugs
d) A Muppet Christmas Carol: The Storybook of the Movie Based on the Book A Christmas Carol Which Was Written by Charles Dickens


16. Complete this lyric from the theme song of the 1996 Muppet series Muppets Tonight: “Here come the Muppets, here come the Muppets, here come…”
a) “…the Muppets tonight!”
b) “…the cops! Everyone hide!”
c) “…the Chickens of Death! Run for your life!”
d) Avril Lavigne


17. Where did MuppetFest, 2001’s official Muppet fan convention, take place?
a) Santa Monica, California
b) Ganymede, the seventh moon of Jupiter
c) A castle made of pink cotton candy
d) In the forest, but no one was around, so it didn’t make a noise


18. What was the biggest Muppet news story of 2004?
a) Disney bought the Muppets
b) Zoot was elected president, narrowly beating the incumbent Hush Puppy
c) The Swedish Chef was named Super Bowl MVP after taking the Green Bay Packers to a 343-7 victory over the Harlem Globetrotters
d) Elvis Presley came back from the dead to perform one of the Muppet Elvises for a charity concert, then died again

Well? You got every single question right, didn’t you? See, I told you you’d feel like an expert. Just to make sure, here’s…

How to calculate your score: Give yourself 10,000 points for each time you chose answer “a” on a question. For each time you chose any other letter, smack yourself in the face as forcefully as possible.

Click here to discuss this article and compare scores on the Tough Pigs forum!

Muppets Per Diem

Quite often, I find myself sitting at my desk, looking slightly to the right so I can't see my wall calendar (which features pictures of people ironing in dangerous locations), and slightly below the vantage point of my computer monitor, and I can't help but wonder what day it is. Here is where I take note of my options. I can either stick my head out the window and sing "O Solo Mio" until someone shouts "Are you crazy?? It's 2:30 in the morning on Tuesday, December 9th!" or I can consult my brand new Day-At-A-Time Muppet calendar!

That's right, for the Muppet fan who can't stand to see the same picture for more than 24 hours, you can now head out to your local Amazon.com retailer and purchase a year's worth of calendar.

Right there on the front of the box, the calendar is advertised as having "Full Color on Every Page". And thankfully, they aren't guilty of false advertising here. If they were, I'd sue their pants off. Though that'd be pretty easy since many of the Muppets are already sans pants.

Aside from the colors, the pictures themselves are pretty impressive. At first glance, it just looks like a bunch of poser shots we've seen 100 times before. But at second and third glance, I didn't see many repeated images, plus a significant amount that I'd never seen before. Flipping through right now, I see Piggy on a carousel, Kermit as Galileo, and a picture that looks like the Swedish Chef is smoking a joint. Wait, forget I was ever amazed by that last one.

A word of caution from ToughPigs forum member and all-around nice guy Jimmy: "It seems like the variation of the pictures is pretty good, but towards the end they repeat images, sometimes for several days in a row. August 26-September 7 show "A spotlight on Statler and Waldorf," and the images consist of just two poser pics, alternated for all the days. On November 3-7, there is a list of all Muppet show guest stars, and while the accompanying picture is one I have never seen, it is repeated for all of those days. Despite this, the overall variety is pretty good and the calendar does have quite a few pictures I had never seen before. " Thanks, Jimmy!

The calendar also claims to have "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know, But Didn't Know Who to Ask." First of all, for those of you who actually don't know where to go for Muppet trivia, may I direct you to the Muppet Wiki? No? Ok, moving right along...

A secret squirrel has informed me that long-time Muppet writer Jim Lewis was tagged to help write up the trivia for the calendar. Although Jim (whoever wrote the text) probably could have entered some Morsel-worthy trivia into the calendar, we're left with trivia bits like Who-is-Scooter? and "Say, who were the celebrity guests in season 2 of The Muppet Show?" All easily attainable information for anyone with Google at their fingertips.

And speaking of trivia, we should only hope that the trivia in the calendar is all correct. While scanning a few random pages for this article, I found one that asks "Which of these Muppets was created first?", in which the upside-down answer claims that Rowlf debuted before Kermit. According to the Muppet Wiki, Kermit was built a full seven years before Rowlf. A minor quibble, but another example of how the Muppet Wiki is better than just about everything else in the world.

After having the calendar for almost two weeks now, I've gotten over my high expectations for brilliant Muppet trivia and focused more on having a great Muppet picture every single day, and I'm loving it. I look forward to the end of the day when I can tear off that picture of Sam the Eagle and find a new image of Clifford. It's what they should have been giving us every year for the last 10 years. Daily Muppets.

Highly recommended, for people who like days.

Click here once a day to discuss this article on the ToughPigs forum!

Don't Eat the Puppets

What happens when you close your eyes and whisper the words Atlanta, Georgia? Do you see peach trees? Streets named after peach trees? The World of Coke’s infamous Beverly sample flavor? Streets named after numerous battles over peach trees? Matlock?

Well, get ready to introduce the Center for Puppetry Arts into your Atlantan vocabulary. From the outside, the place looks more like an aging school building stripped of its playground than like any sort of museum. Inside is where the magic happens. For one thing, the Jim Henson: Puppeteer exhibit is up and running through August 5th, 2008 – a first taste of the goodies yet to come in the Jim Henson Wing, expected to open in 2012.

The first thing I learn when I visit is that the Jim Henson exhibit, much like an eager teenager dolled up for the big dance, hides treasures so dear that the staff will unabashedly question your intentions. “Photography inside is not allowed,” I’m reminded several times by otherwise friendly folks. I resort to photographing the teasers outside – a Kermit puppet, an iconic photograph of Jim and Kermit, a nifty shot of Kermit and Piggy as Rhett and Scarlett – and scribbling pages of notes within. Even as I exit, clutching my notebook, a nervous docent asks, “You didn’t… draw any pictures, did you?”

I couldn’t possibly recreate that room in crude sketches with any sort of accuracy. Bright, angular text panels decorate the walls, along with classy enlarged photographs, and some of Jim’s original doodles. Along the back wall, monitors play a looped reel of old clips alongside a slide show of production photos. What immediately leap out at me, of course, are the puppets.


Over half a dozen puppets wave at visitors from glass cases. Since multiple players own the rights to these characters, the Center and the Jim Henson Legacy keep a close watch on the goings-on. What I forfeit in souvenir photographs, however, I more than recoup in the gift shop later on.

Moving clockwise around the room, I first examine Rowlf, who appears next to a framed picture of Lassie. Some of the text next to him describes the character’s history, as well as an explanation about live-hand puppets. The Swedish Chef and Dr. Teeth share one long glass case, which also contains vegetables (none with faces, sadly), a meat cleaver, a rubber chicken, and a painted wooden keyboard for the Doc.

I’m beginning to notice a Henson-as-a-man and Henson-as-a-performer theme, which is no surprise given the nature of the whole project. Most of the text panels manage to connect their puppet to Jim’s groundbreaking innovations using puppets on television, or his development as an entertainer. The Muppet performers receive a fairly decent shout-out; a bunch of head shots (I immediately fall in love with a photo of Richard Hunt holding Scooter and wearing a cowboy hat) surround a quote about how the players used to bounce off each other. Also typical for these text panels is some conclusion about how more such excitement is on its way, come 2012.

Along one corner of the back wall covered with monitors, I find touchable samples of puppet-building materials; this, combined with the clip reel, should be enough to appease younger visitors while their parents geek out over the pictures and text. (I say “younger visitors” because my family, by this point, has tired of watching the clips roll three times while I take notes – and has pushed ahead to the Salem the Talking Cat exhibit outside.) While the slide show flashes photos and sketches, the reel itself features a fitting mix of everything from familiar spots like Rubber Duckie to bits that casual fans might not have seen before, like a Purina Dog Chow commercial.


The Dog City corner switches up the format with a formal little flip book of character sketches; nearby, Jim’s counterpart from the Country Trio strums a banjo, next to a textual tidbit explaining that while Jim never played the banjo, he would have liked to. I can’t stop looking at a pillar featuring a lovely floor-to-ceiling picture of Frank, Jim, and Richard as Bert and Ernie. In wandering around the exhibit named for Jim Henson, apparently I’ve been itching for more frogs and dogs and bears and chickens and things: more mentions of everyone who worked with Jim, behind-the-scenes interactions, perhaps one or two Muppets not performed by Jim Henson. Maybe I should stop taking notes.

Fortunately, I’ve arrived at the Sesame Street display, which mimics the Sesame Street set and has a brighter, more cartoonish feel than the rest of the exhibit (the Henson Legacy includes Ernie in their handful of pictures from the exhibit, if you’d like a better idea). Next to Ernie’s display case, a door explains Joan Ganz Cooney’s vision for the show, and how the Sesame Street puppets subsequently came about. Above a sill adorned with cardboard tulips and sunflowers, a window quotes Jim Henson describing how people might respect and care for each other. I particularly like the picture of a stained glass window showing Jim and Frank as Ernie and Bert, next to a tidbit explaining that Jim had originally intended to play Bert, while Frank would play Ernie, before the two switched roles.


Before proceeding out to the main wing – and I could write a whole other article about how much I loved the Center’s permanent exhibit, full of wacky interactive puppet mechanisms and a whirlwind tour of puppetry around the world, not to mention a Skeksis and two Swinetrek crew members – I stop at the La Choy Dragon’s case and read a letter of appreciation from a producing advertising executive.

“What a pleasure to work with people whose views of the world are unrestrainedly mad,” writes Mr. Grisham. “These commercials are going to make a lot of people happier for having seen them.” I stop in my tracks. So many of my Muppet fan friends and I have struggled to embody just that, singing and dancing and making people happy in any way we can, for as long as we can remember. Even in the commercials he made in 1965, years before he would weave his vision into his own television shows, Jim Henson was already living that dream. Making people happy came naturally to him. I leave on that note.

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