Ugly Muppet Toy Pageant 2008: Place Your Votes!

Just look at that thing. That right there is an ugly Gonzo doll, sent to me by Tough Pigs' close personal friend Marianne. He's hideous, isn't he? And yet, I'm only including him here as a runner-up. It gets worse from here, friends.

I asked you people to send me pictures of ugly Muppet toys, and boy, did you deliver. I had an unbelievably tough time narrowing all the submissions down to a handful of finalists... in fact, I have enough that I could probably do another pageant before a year goes by.

Unsurprisingly, I got heaps of Kermits. But I wanted some variety in the pageant, so I had to decide which Kermits were the absolute ugliest Kermits so they didn't dominate the whole thing.

And now it's up to you to decide which toys are the ugliest of the ugliest, and which toy in particular is the ugliest of the ugliest of the ugliest. Below, you will find 17 finalists. Rate each toy on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "not that ugly" and 5 being "extreeeeemely ugly." You can also include your color commentary on each toy... A big part of the fun of the pageant is seeing how creatively the Tough Pigs readership can describe the repulsiveness of various toys.

Send your ratings and commentary to me at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com. And in a while -- say, two weeks or so -- I'll post the results, and we'll learn who gets to wear the ugly crown this year. And now, without further ado, some ugly toys:

Retro Kermit - Brass Key Collectibles, submitted by Jamie Badminton, Halfway Down the Stairs, and Joe Hennes

Gonzo doll - submitted by Jamie Badminton

Waldorf doll - Toy Factory, 2007, submitted by Tony Whitaker

Bert as a carpenter - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Animal finger puppet - Starbucks, 2003, submitted by DJTR


Kermit doll - submitted by Neil Whitman

Gonzo sugar bowl - Sigma, mid 1970s, found on Muppet Wiki

Guy Smiley beanie - submitted by Nancy P

Elmo as Oscar - Sanrio, submitted by Danny Horn

Animal and Fozzie - Sababa, 2003, submitted by Tony Whitaker

Miss Piggy in a carrot - Nanco, submitted by Joe Hennes

Wendy Loves Kermit - Madame Alexander, found somewhere on the internet

Big Bird bean bag - Knickerbocker, submitted by Tony Whitaker


Count doll - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Fozzie doll - submitted by Halfway Down the Stairs

Elmo doll - submitted by Ryan Dosier

Oscar puppet - Applause, found on Muppet Wiki

There they are... It would take a mother to love any one of them. Send me your ratings now at ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com, and check back here in a couple of weeks for the results!

Click here to talk about ugly toys and their mothers on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com