Communist Pigs, Yankee Frogs, and Marlo Thomas

How did the Cold War end? Maybe you thought it was the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991, but in reality, the seeds were sown by Marlo Thomas three years earlier… and she never could have done it without the Muppets, in a TV special that you probably haven’t seen. In 1988, Thomas produced a TV special called Free to Be… a Family.



It was a follow-up of sorts to Free to Be… You and Me, her lovely 1974 special which explained how boys and girls are equal, and people who are different can still be friends, and other stuff that everyone really should have already figured out by 1974.

The Free to Be… a Family TV special is an international variety show, as kids in Moscow meet kids in the New York City via the magic of television. Penn and Teller teach the kids how to do a magic trick, a Russian rock singer sings a song with words I can’t understand (Honestly, it’s like he’s not even speaking English), and Robin Williams shows up to be hyper for a few minutes.

The other executive producer of the special was longtime Sesame Street contributor Christopher Cerf, and it was written by Cerf with Sesame writer Norman Stiles and Sesame composer Sarah Durkee… all of which explains why there are Muppets in the show. The first Muppets we see are Kermit and his (non-Sesame) pal Miss Piggy, in a filmed segment demonstrating how the American puppets traveled to Moscow to meet with a Russian puppet character to “hammer out the terms of this show.”



Piggy doesn’t say much, so I’m guessing Frank Oz wasn’t present for the filming, (photographic evidence from Muppet Wiki suggests Piggy was puppeteered by Kathy Mullen) but they’re really in Russia, so I’m guessing Jim Henson made the trip, which is pretty impressive. Less impressive is the Russian puppet character, Kruscha the Pig (whose name I’m probably spelling wrong. If anyone reading this is familiar with Russian children’s television, please correct me). Compared to the expressiveness of Kermit and Piggy, Kruscha looks pretty lame. He’s really just a fancy finger puppet, and his mouth doesn’t even move. No wonder the Soviet Union failed, if that’s the best puppet they could come up with to represent their nation.

Kermit and Kruscha’s negotiations involve a lot of yelling and banging on the table, but finally, as Marlo Thomas tells us, “the exact details of our show were agreed upon.”


The next time we see Muppets in the special is a segment called “Pig to Frog,” which is presented as a panel discussion between “a distinguished panel of Americans, and an equally distinguished panel of Soviets" who "participate in a frank and open discussion” of their differences. The American panel includes two Honkers, a penguin, and Meryl Sheep; in other words, the very definition of the word “distinguished.”


So this is the weirdest part of the special. The purpose of the whole project is to teach kids that their counterparts in a Communist country are just like them, and that citizens of both countries have a lot to offer each other. But in this segment, Kermit talks about how crappy life in the Soviet Union is, and then Kruscha talks about how terrible life in the USA is. It’s completely contrary to the message of the show!

They’re pretty funny, though. Kermit shows us a Soviet elephant who lost his job and the love of his life…


…and Kruscha tells the story of a homeless bear, performed by Kevin Clash, who just can't catch a break.



I’ve never been to 540 Park Avenue in NYC – a web search tells me it’s the Regency Hotel – but if I ever find myself passing by, I’m going to look for this sign:

This bit features an appearance by Whoopi Goldberg, in what would be the briefest, most random cameo of her career until Letters to Santa: A Muppets Christmas 21 years later.


So basically, the “Pig to Frog” sequence teaches us that Americans and Soviets can never get along, and that both countries are awful places to live. So much for druzhba.

But wait, there’s still more Muppets! An ongoing gag in Free to Be… a Family is the premise that the satellite link between Moscow and New York is maintained by Lily Tomlin’s character Ernestine the operator. She sits in a control room inside a van parked on the street, and of course she gets to count ringy-dingys.

About halfway through the show, Ernestine informs Marlo Thomas that if she wants to continue the connection, she’ll have to feed the parking meter. Thomas doesn’t have any change, but she’s rescued by a passing Honker, who gives her a quarter. But where has he been keeping that quarter? Honkers don’t wear no pants -- they ain’t got no pockets!


There’s one more super-brief appearance by a Muppet who shows up in a montage, but I’ll let you see for yourself in the following YouTube clip, which contains the rest of the aforementioned Muppet moments too.





And here’s a fascinating tidbit if you’re a fan of the sitcom Scrubs: One of the American kids who gets to talk to his Russian penpal is Donald Faison, who would grow up to play Turk on that show. And Faison’s younger brother Olamide was the third actor to play Miles on Sesame Street, which just goes to show you that everything and everyone in the world is inexorably linked to Sesame Street forever.

In conclusion: If Marlo Thomas ever writes a memoir, she should definitely call it Rescued by a Passing Honker.
Click here to talk about Communist puppets on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Video Roundup: Muppet commercials and Sesame's 40th

Do you remember the days when you had to sit in front of your TV all day just to catch a glimpse of that commercial everyone is talking about? Or when you actually had to wait for the new season of your favorite show to debut before seeing what they had in store for you? Me neither.

This new-fangled age of immediacy on the internet has completely spoiled me. Now as soon as something Muppety shows up, we can share the wealth! And in the past week, a lot of Sesame Street and Muppet videos have been begging to be shared. Let's take a peek:

The latest videos to hit the net are the Muppet Monsters on Disney.com, celebrating the Pagan candy holiday, Halloween. Give a click and see Big Mean Carl, Yorick (the skull, not the purple dude), Mo Frackle, and some other spooky-yet-obscure characters tell some not-so-scary jokes.
There was a surprise cameo or two on last week's episode of Dancing with the Stars, featuring Animal, Gonzo, and Aaron Carter. That last guy isn't a Muppet, but he does dance to one of their favorite jams.

The Muppets have been popping up all over the Disney websites lately, promoting Disney's "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day" campaign. Three commercials have already hit the net, the first of which (featuring James Denton) can be seen below. The other two aren't on YouTube yet, but you can watch Miss Piggy lock eyes with Taye Diggs here and butt heads with Teri Hatcher here.

From the same campaign, Kermit and Piggy donned their hardhats (to protect their puppeteers' hands, I guess) to officially announce "Give a Day, Get a Disney Day." According to the video uploader, this took place on September 29, which hopefully means that Steve Whitmire is back performing Kermit. Charity shmarity, I'm just glad Steve is back!

Next month, Sesame Street starts its 40th season, making it only ten years away from joining AARP. To get us started on the party early, they released some videos to keep us amused. First, take a look at the updated opening sequence. The hipper version of the theme song is still in play, but now we get to see Cookie Monster eating chalk (what, are they turning him into Chalk Monster now??).

Following in the footsteps of her First Lady brethren (sistren?), Michelle Obama is slated to appear on Sesame Street to talk about the all-important issue of gardening. How much longer must we endure Obama's liberal agenda???

In order to give Leslie Carrara's arms a rest, Abby Cadabby will be appearing as a much more static (and creepy-eyed) version of herself in the CGI segment, "Abby's Flying Fairy School". I wonder what she did to get kicked out of Storybook Community School...

It didn't take long for Apple to sneak some product placement into Sesame Street. When do you think we'll see the "I'm a Mac/I'm the letters P and C" parody?

Lastly, the video that's been hitting all the blogs in the right places, we've got Sesame Street's Mad Men parody. It's exactly like Mad Men, except less sexism and cigarettes, and more Joey Mazzarino. The sketch is also notable for the triumphant return of Frank Oz, who performs a better Don Draper than John Hamm himself.

Click here to write an ad for the Happy Honey Bear account on the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

What the Frog?!?

So the Muppets performed Wednesday night on America's Got Talent on NBC, and the question all Muppet fans are asking now is: What the hell happened to Kermit?

Kermit, Miss Piggy, and some chickens appeared on the show, singing "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart." The chickens were lovely, and I thought Miss Piggy looked and sounded great. Of course, the Muppets have already done "Don't Go Breakin' My Heart" once before, on The Muppet Show with Elton John, but most people don't remember that, so it's not a bad song choice for a Kermit/Piggy duet. The attempt at presenting the number as a little romantic drama was really awkward, but that wasn't the thing that made Muppet fans do double takes and fall off their couches in disbelief.

Perhaps it wasn't obvious to David Hasselhoff or Sharon Osbourne or the average viewer, but we Muppet geeks noticed immediately that Kermit the Frog -- our old pal Kermit, our close personal friend Kermit -- was not performed by Steve Whitmire, the dude who's performed the frog since Jim Henson's death in 1990. If you missed it, you can see for yourself -- As of this writing, the number is on YouTube, as seen below:



So we Muppet fans are confused and upset right now. There are two questions that immediately come to mind. The first, of course, is Who? If Kermit was not played by the guy who's been playing him for the last 19 years, then who was it? Word has it that it was Artie Esposito, a puppeteer who's worked on several Sesame Street projects in recent years. You know, I have no doubt he's a decent guy and a fine puppeteer, but I gotta say, I'd hate to be in his shoes right now.

Of course, every professional puppeteer wants to work with the Muppets, and I'm sure it would be very tempting to take a gig as one of the world's favorite puppet characters... but on the Tough Pigs and Muppet Central forums, reactions to the appearance have been overwhelmingly negative, and not without reason. Kermit's performance was stiff, and the voice... well, we know what Kermit sounds like, and this just didn't sound like Kermit. The moment when he ran backstage and yelled at Nick Cannon was especially unfortunate.

The next question, then, is Why? Why wasn't Kermit performed by Steve Whitmire? And that question is bound to have a more complicated answer. I don't have any first-hand information, so all I can do is speculate, which is exactly what we've been doing on the Tough Pigs forum. Did Steve have to drop out unexpectedly? (We were originally promised a Statler & Waldorf cameo, and the fact that they failed to materialize is eyebrow-raising considering Steve Whitmire has been Statler's performer for the last few years.) Was the new performer brought in at the last minute?

Or is there a more dramatic reason? There's the possibility that The Great Kermit the Frog Switch has something to do with contract negotiations... but that suggestion opens a door to a dark and messy place I'd rather not venture into. In fact, I had a lot more to say here, but I just deleted it because it's way too early to get too doom-y and gloomy, as fun as that would be.

The fact is, this thing just happened, so the whole story's not clear yet. With any luck, we'll get an explanation soon... though it may or may not be reassuring. Jeez, what a weird day to be a Muppet fan.

Click here to talk about the AGT Kermit debacle on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Sesame, With a Capitol S

This past weekend, America celebrated its 233rd 4th of July. Other countries had a 4th of July too, but they just called it "Saturday." PBS did their part with A Capitol Fourth, which featured British celebrities, Chinese fireworks, German frankfurters, and a touch of good ol' fashioned American patriotism. The Sesame Street gang was on-hand to lend some red white and blue (and green and yellow and pink) to the celebration, and while we wait for some kind soul to add the entire segment to YouTube (which included an introduction by Barack "I'm the President and You're Not" Obama), let's take a peek at the two videos that are available to us.

First up is a promo for the special featuring former fictional President Jimmy Smits and some red furry thing that sounds like the baby from Dinosaurs.

Next is the whole Sesame clan at the tail end of their appearance with special guest Natasha Beddingfield. And for some reason, Cookie Monster looks really bored. Maybe he hates America.

Click here to stick a feather in your cap and call it macaroni on the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

Muppets, Munchos, and Me: An Epic Story

I realized something recently: Jim Henson was the most effective advertiser in history. Allow me to explain this bold statement in the form of a pointless personal story.

Just a couple of years ago, a YouTube user named batman1971 (probably not the real Batman) posted two old commercials produced by the Muppets in 1969 for a new snack food called Munchos. These commercials feature a funny-looking Muppet named Fred, but are much more notable for starring a shaggy, blue, hungry monster who would soon become America’s sweetheart.

Check ‘em out:





(Side note: Is it just me, or does the monster have a different performer in the second spot? In the first commercial it’s obvious that both of the voices are Jim Henson’s… In the second one, it’s not Jim, but I can’t tell who it is. Could it be a young Frank Oz, still new to the world of monster voices? End side note.)

So, when I saw these on YouTube, I said, “Well, those are pretty fun. And these Muncho things sound pretty good. It’s too bad they don’t make them anymore.” And that was that, and then I probably moved on to another YouTube video, which may or may not have been a spotlight for the talents of a toilet-flushing cat.

But soon thereafter, I was at the grocery store when my eyes beheld an amazing sight: There, in the snack food aisle, in amongst the Ruffles and the Tostitos and the artificially flavored puffed corn snacks, was Munchos! I was startled, but then it dawned on me: It wasn’t that my local store had just started carrying them. It was simply that I had never noticed them.

Of course I had to buy a bag so I could try them for myself. After all, how could I refuse a product whose coming was heralded by a primitive version of Cookie Monster and a Muppet who bears a striking resemblance to a thumb? And as it turned out, I liked Munchos. A lot. They’re addictively salty and delightfully crispy, although I have to say, I think they’re actually thinner than standard potato chips. So either they’ve tweaked the recipe or Fred was a big fat liar. Since then, they’ve pretty much become my potato-based snack of choice (as Fred points out, they’re potato crisps, not potato chips).

And to think: All these years, I had been completely ignorant to the fact that I was living in a universe where Munchos existed! But this commercial made by Jim Henson and his crew was so attention-grabbing, so persuasive, that it sold me on the product almost 40 years after it was produced. If that’s not a well-made commercial, I don’t know what is.

And that’s why Jim Henson was the most effective advertiser in history.

Do you have a similar story? Did decades-old Muppet commercials inspire you to drink RC Cola, to eat La Choy Chinese food, or to try Wilson’s Meats? Does Wilson’s Meats even exist anymore? I have no idea! Let's talk about it on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Video Roundup! Yeehaw!

While we eagerly await the next Muppet movie, upcoming Doozers TV show, the new season of Sesame Street, and that dusty VHS you've got of Aliens in the Family, it kinda seems like there aren't any Muppets on television these days. Well, you're wrong. Dead wrong. Really really super dead wrong.

In one form or another, the Muppets have been popping their little heads on TV a lot lately. Let's take a peek at a few of them.
Three (three!) recent episodes of 30 Rock have contained tidbits that'd make more than a few Muppet fans' eyebrows to raise. Three weeks ago, a picture of Miss Piggy appeared in a non-sequitor about Jenna's wardrobe. One week ago, Alan Muraoka made a cameo as a guy about to get fired. But the kicker was two weeks ago when the cast was seen as Sesame Street Anything Muppets! Click here and here to see the video while they last!
The whole Muppet gang (kinda) made an appearance on Saturday Night Live in what might be construed as a disturbing deleted scene from The Muppet Movie. But it begs the question: Why is Rowlf driving?? Click here for watching!
Elmo and Abby Cadabby went on Bonnie Hunt's show to promote the new DVD, "Being Green," and to promote their own cuteness. I couldn't find the first half of the interview, but here they are talking about how kids can greenify their home.
Kobe Bryant, along with Mini Kobe, will be on the 40th season of Sesame Street. Mini Kobe sounds like a cut of steak on the children's menu. Watch the video!
Lastly, Elmo was on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon earlier this week. And we're doing you the great favor of linking to a video of the interview, rather than making you actually watch an episode of Jimmy Fallon's show. You're welcome. Click here, yo!

Click here to discuss this article on the ToughPigs forum!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

A Frazzled Frog Is a Funny Frog

Who is Kermit the Frog? He's often described as the glue that holds the Muppets together. When Jim Henson's colleagues are asked which character Jim was most similar to, the frog is often the first one name-checked: He was the guy making everything work, a straight man in the middle of a throng of eccentrics.

All of which is great, but you know when I really love Kermit? When he freaks the hell out. One complaint fans have of recent Muppet projects is that Kermit just doesn't lose his temper like he used to, which is a valid point. He's supposed to be a funny character, and he's never funnier than when he loses his cool.

Here are some of my favorite instances of Kermit losing his composure, rated on a scale of 1 (lowest) to 10 (highest) I'm call the Freakout-o-meter, and some of which are accompanied by nifty links to the Sesame Street Video Player and YouTube.

-Grover Sells Sunglasses
On Sesame Street, Kermit is free of the insanity of The Muppet Show, but he still gets to play straight man to some crazy characters. Kermit was often paired with Grover to great effect, including a series of sketches in which Grover is a salesman trying to sell Kermit products he can't really use. I guess these sketches wouldn't really work as well now that door-to-door salesmen are a nearly extinct species, but I think we can all absolutely identify with Kermit here, as he struggles to keep his temper right up until the moment when he chases Grover out of his house.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 3
Watch it on YouTube!

-"I wish I'd never been born!" Freakouts are seemingly rarer in Kermit's Steve Whitmire era, but Whitmire showed us he could bring the frantic with Kermit's Christmas Eve rant in It's a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie. The Muppet Theater has been lost to a greedy corporate type, and Kermit blames himself. His self-loathing diatribe to Daniel the angel (which mostly consists of variations on "I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN!") is really just a device to steer the movie into the "world without Kermit" sequence, but it manages to be sad and hilarious at the same time.
On the Freakout-o-meter: 9

-Cookie Monster and the Mystery Box
Kermit was paired with Cookie Monster much less frequently than with Grover, but here we see that Cookie is just as skilled at pushing the frog's buttons. In this sketch, Kermit is frustrated by Cookie's willful, persistent ignorance.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 6
Watch it on YouTube!


-"Who hired this crew?"

No doubt most Muppet fans would consider it to be a minor entry in Kermit's history of rants, but this Whitmire-era freakout from Muppet Treasure Island deserves an honorable mention. After the roll call scene establishes that the Hispaniola's crew is full of unsavory characters, Kermit's Captain Smollett demands to know: "Who hired this crew? This is undoubtedly the seediest bunch of cutthroats, villains, and scoundrels I have ever seen, so who hired them?!" It's slight compared to some of these other moments, but I'm pretty sure this was the first time we saw Steve Whitmire's Kermit lose his temper, so it was like a sweet reunion with an old, beloved, yelling friend. (By the way, it was Mr. Bimbo, the little man who lives in Fozzie's finger. He hired the crew.)

On the Freakout-o-meter: 2




-The Wonderful World of T-shirts
All Kermit wants is a T-shirt with his name on it. But if he got what he wanted, we wouldn't have this Sesame Street sketch, with appearances by Kermit the Forg, Kermit the Grof, and Kermit the Gorf... and the inclusion of Kermit's exasperated line "I'm Kermit the Frog and I told you I want my Kermit the Frooooog t-shirt!" to which Frank Oz's shopkeeper Muppet responds, "No need to get emotional!" Left unanswered: Why Kermit is already wearing a Kermit the Frog t-shirt when he arrives at the store. How many does he need, anyway?

On the Freakout-o-meter: 6
Watch it on YouTube!

-Kermit insults Piggy's heritage
I debated whether to include this one, because it's not really Kermit getting mad so much as Kermit being mean to Piggy. In the John Denver episode of The Muppet Show, Kermit is chagrined to find that none of his fellow Muppets are looking forward to their camping trip to the swamp. Piggy is particularly unenthusiastic, and when Kermit figures this out, he gets a little testy: "We don't have to go to the swamp. We can go back to where you were born -- the sty! You know, where your roots are! Where pigs eat swill and wallow in the mud! Remember that?" This does not persuade Piggy to look forward to the swamp.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 2

-Stop That Bus Stop
Even rarer than a Kermit/Cookie Monster pairing is a Kermit/Oscar the Grouch pairing, and this one finds Kermit understandably displeased when Oscar tries to build a bus stop in his living room. "This is a terrible place for a bus stop! What kind of bus is going to drive into my living room?!" he demands, and of course the next thing that happens is a bus drives into his living room. You can't stop civic progress. As I was watching Sesame clips in preparation of this article, I noticed that they almost never used the same set more than once to represent Kermit's apartment, but if you think about it, there's a perfectly reasonable explanation: He keeps moving, in a desperate, futile effort to prevent the other Muppets from dropping by and annoying him.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 4
Watch it on the Sesame Video Player!


-Kermit's Telephone Demo
So we've seen Kermit abused by Grover, Cookie Monster, and Oscar. Now how about America's dumbest urban cowboy, Forgetful Jones? In this sketch, Kermit tries to teach Forgetful how to use the telephone, and of course everything goes smoothly and Forgetful gets it right on the first try and nothing funny happens whatsoever.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 3
Watch it on the Sesame Video Player!

-Piggy is fired
This is the one, right here. In the Loretta Swit episode of The Muppet Show, Miss Piggy leaks a story to a tabloid that she and Kermit are secretly married. To say that Kermit is unamused would be a vast understatement. "I will not stand around while you do dumb things like that!" he snaps, and when she asks what he's going to do about it, he has an answer: "I'll tell you what I'm going to do, Piggy, I'm going to fire you! Piggy, you are fired! You are fired, Piggy! You are fired! FIRED!" And he fires her! But of course she's back by the end of the episode. You know, sometimes when I watch this stuff it really hits me just how dysfunctional Kermit and Piggy's relationship is.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 10
Watch it on YouTube!


-"Go ahead and walk!"
In The Great Muppet Caper, Kermit confronts Piggy at a duck pond in the park, the day after she tricked him into believing she was Lady Holiday. This scene is really more about Kermit and Piggy snapping at each other...

PIGGY: I'm playing over 800 different emotions here!
KERMIT: Well, why don't you try playing one of them right?!
PIGGY: I have a career of my own! I don't need this lousy duck pond!
KERMIT: Okay, sure, go ahead, walk! Walk! Go ahead and walk!

...than a rant from Kermit, but it's entertaining as always to see him make scrunchy faces and breathe heavily. Naturally, this scene of Kermit and Piggy screaming at each other is immediately followed by the most romantic scene in the movie, the "Couldn't We Ride" number.
On the Freakout-o-meter: 5


-The Huggies
And here's another classic Kermit/Piggy scene that confirms the notion that for these two crazy lovebirds, yelling is like foreplay. Kermit's just discovered that Piggy (whom he thought was far away at a new job) has been spying on him and his new friend Jenny. If she's just a friend, Piggy demands, why were you giving her the huggies? And then I just have to quote the scene:

KERMIT: Jenny and I were hugging because we're friends! That's what friends do! Friends do not spy!
PIGGY: I spied because I care!
KERMIT: I care too!
PIGGY: Well, why don't you say so?!
KERMIT: I JUST DID!
PIGGY: ALL RIGHT!
KERMIT: AAAGH!
PIGGY: AAAGH!
KERMIT: AAAGH!
PIGGY: AAAGH!

So the only thing that can come next is a romantic carriage ride around Central Park.

On the Freakout-o-meter: 8


Now I'm trying to remember, and I honestly can't: When was the last time we saw Kermit yell? I can only hope it happens in the next Muppet movie. I mean, lots of Muppet characters and guest star cameos are great, but could we have Kermit flipping his lid, please? Thanks.

Click here to tell me which Kermit freakouts you can't believe I forgot on the Tough Pigs forum! And scroll down to the previous post for some Tough Pigs April Fools' Day merriment!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

MD = "Muppet Doctor"?

As I mentioned here a few days ago, the Sesame Street Muppets appeared on ABC's Scrubs on Tuesday night. If you missed it, you can watch it online for free over at ABC.com, at least for a while. Also, if you haven't seen this online promo with Elmo and Zach Braff, you should check it out.

I thought the episode, "My ABCs," was pretty good, although I should note that I'm a regular viewer of Scrubs. I have to wonder if a Sesame fan with less familiarity with the show would have found it very satisfying, considering there were only four Muppets in it, and they each appeared for just a moment. I'm just glad they appeared on a show that's good, and not something like 'Til Death or Kath and Kim.

(In case there are any 'Til Death fans or Kath and Kim fans reading this: That's right, I just dissed your show. You wanna make something of it? Bring it on. I say this confident in the knowledge that neither of those shows has any fans.)

Anyway, Scrubs has a gimmick where the main character, J.D. (Braff) has funny daydreams inspired by the things that are happening in his life. So all the Sesame characters appeared in J.D. daydream scenes, which is probably the most sensible way to incorporate puppets into the show. Even on a sitcom as wacky as Scrubs, it would be pretty weird if Elmo just showed up as a living, breathing character in the "real world" of the show.

Appearing outside of Sesame Street provided an opportunity for the Muppets to wink at the audience a little. So we had Oscar claiming to be the new Chief of Medicine at the hospital, warning, "I'm watching you, Dr. Dorian -- and my eyes never close!" and Grover extending his hand and asking for someone to give him a "high four." I'm a sucker for gags in which the Muppets acknowledge their puppethood.

And then there was Elmo, practically hitting on J.D.'s attractive intern protege Denise. When J.D. protested Elmo's nuzzling of Denise's bosom, Elmo said something like, "What, is she your woman?" Which is funny and prime time-y, yet somehow completely in character.

Finally, there was a gag with a random monster Muppet credited as "A.M. Muppet (Ex Ray)" and performed by Stephanie D'Abruzzo. The joke -- a puppet gets x-rayed, revealing a hand inside it -- is one I've seen before in more than one comic strip, but it was still cute.

The episode ended on a contemplative note, with a closing montage running under a lovely, melancholy version of the Sesame Street theme song by Joshua Radin. Folks on the Tough Pigs forum have been saying they want an MP3 of Radin's version, but it was so sad-sounding that I don't think I'd ever want to listen to it outside the context of this episode.

Oh, and there was one other thing I have to mention: Early in the episode, J.D. comes across his friend Turk and Turk's baby daughter watching Sesame Street. As the opening sequence plays, Turk tells J.D. that the letter of the day is J. But wait a minute! The show just started! The letter of the day isn't even revealed until, what, 15 minutes into an episode of Sesame Street? I find this lack of attention to detail appalling! Appalling, I say!

I'm kidding, of course. It didn't really bother me that much... but I still feel like I should send somebody a letter about it. Does anyone have Grover's address?


Click here to make a house call and discuss "My ABCs" on the Tough Pigs forum!

ToughPigsRyan@yahoo.com

Reviews to Santa

Missed the special? It's available online here until December 31!

This week, the Muppets did something we haven’t seen them do in about three and a half years: they made a new TV movie. And SPOILER ALERT: It’s pretty dang good.

In A Muppets Christmas: Letters to Santa (sometimes incorrectly, yet better-sounding, “A Muppet Christmas: Letters to Santa”), Kermit, Fozzie, Gonzo, Pepe and Rizzo embark on an international voyage northward to deliver mail to an old man who has some shipments to deliver himself. And someone might or might not learn the true meaning of Christmas.

The story was pitched by Paul Williams, who you should know as the writer of the Carpenters hit song, "We've Only Just Begun," and as Virgil from Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Oh, and he wrote the music from The Muppet Movie and Muppet Christmas Carol and appeared in the Paul Williams episode of The Muppet Show. I know, I just blew your mind.

Having grown up in a Jewish household, I never paid much attention to Christmas specials. Only in the past few years have I bothered with the non-Muppet ones, and really appreciated the Frog-centric ones on the same level as any other fanatic. So it’s with thought in mind that I say this: This movie had too much Christmas.

What I mean by that is that Christmas movies tend to come with a certain level of schmaltz, and a story about delivering a little girl’s letter to Santa Claus is chock full of it. But what saved us all from ODing on schmaltziness was the Muppets’ new writing team of Hugh Fink, Scott Ganz, and Andrew Samson. Their combined knowledge of Muppet history and their ability to write a successful prime-time special turned this movie from a potential schmaltzfest into a wonderful movie that’s both great for the family and fun for nostalgia buffs.

Despite the schmaltzitude, Paul Williams did come up with a fun story to toss some Muppets into. He also wrote four new songs for the special. The first, “Delivering Christmas,” was the absolute best. It was maybe even the best Muppet song since the Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack. That also might be due to the myriad of Muppets and choreography going on in the background of the song. Next was “What’s in Your Heart,” which was nice, though not the most memorable song I’ve ever heard (I’m trying hard to hum it right now, and it just ain’t happening). The next song, “I Wish I Was Santa Claus,” was the clinker for the special. I found it hard to believe that Paul Williams wrote it, as the lyrics were eye-rolling and the tune made me want to use the song’s 45 seconds to run to the bathroom. Though it did give us (as far as I know) Gonzo and Fozzie’s first duet, which is nothing to be ashamed of. The final song, “My Best Christmas Yet,” picked the pace up again and sounded like a song on the Muppets' repertoire for years. Whether Paul’s music was a success or not, he made it up to us by appearing as an elf, which is the most appropriate casting in the history of motion pictures.

Letters to Santa brought the Muppets back to A-list (or at least close to it) celebrity cameos. Uma Thurman was utterly adorable as Joy the ticket agent. Nathan Lane stole the spotlight as TSA Agent Officer Meany. Those two guys from the Sopranos reprised their roles as Ernie and Bert from Elmo’s Christmas Countdown. Jesse L. Martin did a song and dance, just like he does on Law and Order. Petra Nemcova has a name that’s hard to pronounce. Whoopi Goldberg portrayed God, taking human form and judging mankind in the guise of Alex Reiger. Michael Bloomberg ran for a third term. But the star of the cameo show was Jane Krakowski, whose every smirk was hilarious, and not to mention realistic for someone who shares a brownstone with a bunch of weirdos.

The terrific Muppety moments were a-plenty. The stamps on the intro. The Muppet employees of the post office. The Great Muppet Caper-esque “delivery” to the apartment. Fozzie being funny instead of pathetic. Sam’s PSA for the USPS. Beaker’s wish (and her speech impediment). Bunsen’s latent jealousy. The Swedish fish head pizza. The Electric Mayhem’s voices (especially Zoot’s trailing off). The two names being paged at the airport. Where Gonzo stores his trumpet when he travels. Bear-on-bear violence. A worse way to travel than like your luggage. A turkey serving a turkey. Lew Zealand’s Christmas present.

Of course, nothing is perfect. Some moments left me a little flat. For example: Gonzo not acting like Gonzo. He was surprisingly melancholy and muted, only breaking out to have fun in the mail sorter, in the x-ray machine, and possibly while jumping off the plane. Also, Rizzo was given very little to do, considering he had just as much screen time as the other leads (I’m ok with Piggy’s lack of screen time, as we shouldn’t be forcing her into the main story just because we can). I thought David Rudman did a fine Scooter voice, but he’s got to work on that “Scooter Fist.” The scene with the pigeons was completely forgettable (and I’ll bet it took you a few seconds to remember what I’m talking about). Everyone’s favorite Muppet, Animal, was given a total of one joke, which is more surprising than upsetting. But these are all minor complaints, and I’m sure Messrs. Fink, Ganz, and Samson are hanging on my every word and will write the next Muppet movie specifically to my personal tastes.

Despite my complaints (because we really do like to complain ‘round these parts), I thought Letters to Santa was a great success. The Muppets sounded and acted like Muppets. There was comedy and heart. And there were times when it really felt like it could have been from the era of the original Muppet movies. The Muppets very well might be moving into a new age for a new audience, and we’re off to a great start with a genuinely good movie.

But I do have one last nitpick. The plot revolves around a little girl’s wish to spend Christmas with her friends, the Muppets. But she lives in an apartment building with all of them for the other 364 days of the year. Greedy much???
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joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

Reminder: Letters to Santa

We have no doubt that you've set a myriad of alarms to remind you about the new TV movie starring the Muppets coming up this Wednesday. But in case you haven't...

Letters to Santa premieres on NBC this Wednesday, December 17, at 8pm EST!

I hope that was bold enough for you. In the meantime, here's a couple ways to get yourself primed for such a momentous event:

-Click here to add the event to your Facebook page, courtesy of writers Andrew Samson and Scott Ganz.

-Click here to read a recent interview with all three writers, Andrew, Scott, and Hugh Fink at our "rival" fan site, Muppet Central.

-Click here to watch some teaser videos.

-Come back here to ToughPigs on the day after the special for our review of Letters to Santa.
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joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

Vids for the Masses

Wow, it really looks like this YouTube thing is taking off! People really seem to like watching things move on their computer screens. And who can blame them? I've been watching things move in real life for years now.

The Muppets have been tossing videos online a lot recently, and we don't want any of you folks to miss out on the good ones. Which is all of them. So get your popping corn ready, because it's Movie Sign!

First up is an official (read: not fan-made) music video to promote Letters to Santa, featuring clips and outtakes from the movie. Be cautious, as spoilers abound.


Next is the furry, the funny, the fabulous Fozzie Bear, along with Bobby Flay, demonstrating how one might go about building their own Whatnot. After the show, Bobby Flay served his Whatnot with a light raspberry creme sauce and braised asparagus on the side.


Live from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, here's Kermit singing the brand new song, "I Believe". This is not to be confused with the opening lyrics of Whitney Houston's "Greatest Love of All".


Here's a backstage view of the brand spankin' new Emmet Otter musical. Click here and scroll down a tad for the vid. It's times like these when I wish I knew anything about embedding videos in HTML. Sorry folks.

Kermit and Piggy made it to the lighting of the giant mutant tree at Rockefeller Center. Here they are introducing the very talented, and very off-screen, Harry Connick Jr.


Lastly, here's four teaser videos from NBC.com for Letters to Santa. Put your spoiler goggles on, as we've entered the SPOILER ZONE! Someone wake Kenny Loggins up.




We now return you to your regularly scheduled ToughPigs blog, now more motionless and static than ever before!

Click here to view video responses on the ToughPigs forum! Or, y'know, regular ones.

Bonus: Click here to see a fun Muppet comic strip from PvPonline.com!

joe.toughpigs@gmail.com

This Almost Studio Live Thingy Show

The following article was written by Tough Pigs' close, personal friend Peter Papazoglou. Thanks for the review, Peter!


As a loyal and - let's face it - masochistic fan of the Muppets, you have no doubt had the pleasure of reading my girlfriend Leah's review of Studio DC: Almost Live. So it should come as a surprise of John-McCain-endorses-Barack-

Obama proportions to find out that Leah agreed to host a viewing of the show's second installment for some cable-deprived fellow Tough Pigs.

So how does the latest episode fare?

Unfortunately for Studio DC, it blew its guest star load in the series' first installment. Hosts Cole and Dylan Sprouse notwithstanding, Miley Cyrus, Ashley Tisdale, and the Jonas Brothers have actually made the transition from Disney Channel teeny boppers to MTV Video Music Award teeny boppers. Like it or not, they're the biggest names that the Muppets have worked with since, well, Ashanti.

In this episode, though, the Disney Channel trots out its second string: host Selena Gomez, The Cheetah Girls (sans, of course, Raven-Symoné), and the cast of The Wizards of Waverly Place. If this were an episode of The Muppet Show, it would be hosted by Miss Mousey and featuring musical act the Gogolala Jubilee Jugband.

Which makes this a show with a chip on its shoulder. Within a space of 45 seconds, both Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato separately "consider" plugging their upcoming Disney Channel Original Movie Princess Protection Program. Later on, David Henrie slips a mention of his upcoming DCOM Dadnapped into an "improvised" song with Floyd. The only two musical numbers this time around are from The Cheetah Girls: One World and Camp Rock. Camp Rock, I served with High School Musical. I knew High School Musical. High School Musical was a friend of mine. Camp Rock, you're no High School Musical!

Which is, like, really really sad.

Oh, wait. The Cheetah Girls: One World, I didn't mean to leave you out. You suck too.

You know what also sucked? Grease 2. A musical sequel tied to the original in theme and setting only but featuring a brand new cast of kids with a handful of adults carried over for continuity's sake, Studio DC hosted by Selena Gomez is Grease 2 with Kermit and Piggy as Coach Calhoun and Principal McGee. And these kids know they're no John Travolta or Olivia-Newton John. They just hope that in ten years one of them might turn out to be Michelle Pfeiffer. They rehearse sketches like "Banana Montana" and "High Stool Musical." They talk about how cute the Jonas Brothers are (Kermit and Rizzo: "Ditto!"; Jasons Dolley and Earles: "No homo!"). Kermit gets text messages from Ashley Tisdale; Miss Piggy continues her quixotic pursuit of "Zacky" Efron. These kids may be nobodies, but they're gonna be stars, goshdarnit. Sing out, Louise! Smile, Baby! Hurry, before the pubes come in!

Which, to be fair, makes them kind of like the Muppets. Hardscrabbled, bootstrap-lifting gypsies, hoofers, and chickens and things. Now, I know what you're thinking: What about the Muppets. And you're right. What about the Muppets? Well, nothing falls quite so flat here as the Suite Life sketch, but then again, nothing shines quite like "Bop to the Top" (although I must admit that Demi Lovato shows genuine chemistry with Beaker in their duet of the blandly inoffensive "This Is Me.") The plot, which remains essentially the same, is on the one hand more comprehensible this time around, but on the other, essentially the same.

Still, there are highlights. There's a cute puppetry bit in which Kermit waddles through the set in snowshoes. A penguin tugs gently at someone's scarf. A blinged out Rizzo raps while Pepe yodels. Gonzo makes a funny turkey gobbling noise. Yeah, it's that kind of show, the kind that you rewind to listen to Dr. Teeth and Floyd's one line apiece (Scooter gets two) and argue about the quality of the recasts (they're all pretty good, by the way).

But nothing in this middling special quite makes up for seeing the Muppets show their age next to today's tween stars. Kermit doesn't know what ROTFLOL means. Piggy is sidelined by the Cheetah Girls and, when she finally forces herself into their number, is too tired to finish. Statler can't even high five without breaking his wrist. And even though (or maybe because) I know that the Muppets are resilient and have survived this kind of mess before, by the time the too-long half-hour comes to an end, I find myself identifying with the unseen, omnipresent director: "He'll be fine, me not so much...wake me when it's over."

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My Day on a Muppet Movie Set: Part 2

Has everyone read Joe Hennes' article from September 9th, in which he told the story of visiting the set of the new Muppet TV special Letters to Santa? (If you haven't, you should click on this link right here and read it.) In Joe's article he mentioned that he was invited by some of the Muppet people to come back for day of studio shooting. He recently took them up on that offer, and this time I got to come too.

I met Joe at the studio in the early afternoon. As we entered the stage, Joe said, "Nathan Lane is here," and yeah, actually, there he was. He's playing an airport security official in the special, which will also include appearances by Uma Thurman, Jane Krakowski, Jesse L. Martin, Tony Sirico and Steve Schirripa from The Sopranos, Richard Griffiths, Disney Channel star Madison Pettis, and New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg. But with all those celebrities, is there any space in the special left for Muppets?

As a matter of fact, there is space, which is good, because the first scene I saw them shoot featured Bobo, and the Bobo puppet is frigging enormous. He's so bulky that when Bill Barretta performs him, he has to wear a harness kinda thing to keep Bobo steady. One take ended abruptly with Bobo toppling over, which cracked up everyone in the room, including Nathan Lane. Lane found Bobo pretty hilarious in general, and he struggled to get through a few takes without laughing. Hearing Bobo speak inspired several people in the room to do their own Bobo impressions, which makes me wonder if the annual informal holiday Talk Like a Pirate Day should be replaced by Talk Like Bobo Day.

Between takes, Joe introduced me to director Kirk Thatcher, who told us that Letters to Santa was greenlit and put into production quite suddenly. The whole shoot, in fact, will total only 15 days, which is less time than I take between trips to the laundromat.

After the scene was finished, I met and chatted with Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, and Noel MacNeal. Here's the thing about real live Muppet people: They're impossibly friendly, and they're almost as interested in the Muppet fan community as we are in them. Several of them commented on the recent New York Times article about Disney's big plans for the Muppets, which they described as "mostly accurate." They did not, however, comment on the difficulty of the Sudoku in that issue of the Times.

After the scene was finished, it was time for the cast and crew's favorite part of the day: lunch break! Joe and I talked some more with Steve and Kirk, as well as Bill Barretta. Among other things, they mentioned that Frank Oz had briefly dropped by the set last week to say hello. Apparently he's a bit of a Muppet fan himself.

One thing that came up over and over again throughout the day was a feeling of optimism among everyone involved. All the puppeteers believe Letters to Santa is a genuinely good Muppet production in the spirit of the classic stuff. Dave Goelz described it as the best thing they've done since Muppet Treasure Island, with "the perfect mix of lunacy and heart." I think every single puppeteer we talked to used the word "heart" in their assessment of the new special. This thing is lousy with heart. Which is great news for all the fans, unless maybe there's a faction of fans who've always felt the Muppets would be better if they were really mean.


During the break, we also got to talk to Andrew Samson and Scott Ganz, two of the writers on the project (along with Hugh Fink, who wasn't there that day). They have a lot of ideas for the Muppets, and I really got the impression that they're One of Us. Or Two of Us, or whatever. They're a couple of guys who grew up watching and loving The Muppet Show and the movies, and they want to see the characters get back to doing the kind of material they did in their heyday. Also notable: Scott's wife Brooke ran the "Sesame Seventies" fan website a few years ago, which was a fun and groovy celebration of Sesame Street's crazy disco records.

Soon it was time to start shooting again, and it was more airport stuff. One thing that struck me as the day went on was the fact that, although we only saw a tiny portion of the production, every single shot we saw them do had a joke in it, and all the jokes were funny. Unless we just happened to see the only funny scenes in the entire special, that bodes well. And as Joe pointed out, the performances seemed to get funnier with every take. If that's always the case, how do they know when to stop?

Another thing I noticed: Muppet performing is hard work. The scenes we saw them shoot had several human extras, but the sets were not "built up" to allow the puppeteers to perform standing up, so they had to sit and kneel and crouch and contort and roll around on wheely things (which probably have a real name other than "wheely things"). And while we tend to take for granted that a Muppet can do anything a human can do, the mere act of Rizzo putting his coat in an airport security bin required several attempts to get right.

Of course, it would have been easier to just cut the Rizzo coat-placing. I'm sure it's not crucial to the plot, but they kept doing it until it worked. I know this is going to sound cheesy, so maybe you want to skip this paragraph, but somehow it seemed very true to the spirit of the Muppets, and even to Jim Henson's own creative philosophy. From Kermit playing the banjo in an actual swamp in The Muppet Movie to Gonzo driving a lawn mower in Muppets From Space, it's always been about creating a world in which the Muppets are real, living beings. So they did take after take until Rizzo got it right. Man, if it had been a real airport, the people in line behind Rizzo would have been seriously ticked off: Just drop your coat, already! (And by the way, what's this talking rat doing at the airport?)

And after all that trouble with the Rizzo shot? They immediately did it again, with a shot requiring Pepe to hold various objects in each of his four hands, and drop them in the bin one by one. This required Bill Barretta, Matt Vogel and Peter Linz to squeeze in close together so they could each perform a prawn hand or two. I couldn't help but think it's a good thing none of the Muppet performers smell bad. Marty Robinson called that gag "a joke that's easy to write, but hard to do"... but once again, they did it until it worked.

While this stuff was going on, Joe and I got a chance to talk to the aforementioned Marty, Matt, and Peter, and they were all a bunch of jerks. No, of course that's not true at all. Like everyone else, they were as nice as could be and very enthusiastic about the new special. This was also about the time I saw one of the puppet wranglers stapling Kermit's winter shoes together so he could hold them in the next scene. I think it would be amazing, when your friends ask you what you've been doing at work, to be able to say, "Oh, today I stapled Kermit the Frog's shoes together."

To a humble, slack-jawed yokel like myself, the whole process of shooting a big TV project like this is pretty impressive. Great care was taken for every shot to ensure that no puppeteers' hands or heads were seen onscreen. Kirk Thatcher made sure Fozzie carried the same candy cane from shot to shot, for "continudity" purposes. And a few times, Kirk and the writers had to confer on whether or not a particular joke would be allowed in a Muppet special.

Speaking of which, here's an interesting tidbit: Remember Gonzo/The Tin Thing's line "Those are my nipples" in The Muppets' Wizard of Oz? I thought that was pretty darn funny, but I was surprised it made the cut. Well, the story behind that came up during a discussion about what the Muppets can and can't get away with: Dave Goelz thought up the line and jokingly suggested it to Kirk Thatcher, prefacing it by saying, "We'll never actually use this, but it would be funny if Gonzo said..." And then Kirk put it in the movie! And that's the story of Gonzo's nipples.

The next scene we saw was an interaction between Fozzie and Bobo. Have we ever even seen those two talk to each other before? Here you have two of the greatest fictional bears ever (equal to Winnie the Pooh, and miles above Andy Williams' Cookie Bear) and they're both part of the same entertainment franchise, but I really don't remember ever seeing them in the same scene. I predict that once viewers find out about this moment, they'll flock to the special by the billions.

During this scene, Scott Ganz told us that a lot of the last-minute additions to this production were "stolen" directly from the script he and Samson and Fink wrote for the now-canceled election special. Which is reasonable. If you're working on a new Muppet special, and you happen to have a perfectly good, unused Muppet script lying around, you might as well use it, right?

At one point, there was a young kid present on the set... I'm not sure who he belonged to, but he was having a good time. As things were getting set up for one of the last scenes of the day, Bill Barretta brought Pepe over to talk to him, which was pretty great, although I'm not sure the kid had any idea who Pepe was. Pepe asked him about school and his favorite subjects, but he politely rebuffed the kid's attempts to stick a candy bar wrapper in his mouth.

It was also around this time that some glossy photos of the main Muppet cast (not to be confused with The MuppetCast) were making their way around the room. These were being autographed to give away to kids, and each puppeteer actually signed his characters' names on each copy. Of course, they could have easily gotten some intern to do that, but instead they guarantee that those kids get the authentic John Hancocks of Kermit, Bunsen, Animal, et al. And for the record, Eric Jacobson does a lovely Piggy signature.

The last shot of the day required Kermit, Gonzo, Pepe, Rizzo, Fozzie and two penguins, so it was all hands on deck for the puppeteers (For those of you keeping score: Steve was Kermit while Noel was Rizzo, Peter was Fozzie's right hand, and Matt and Marty were the penguins). This was some kind of POV shot, apparently taken from the perspective of another character watching the Muppets from a distance, and there didn't seem to be any specific scripted dialogue.

This allowed the puppeteers to ad lib, and danged if they didn't come up with something different to say for every single take. Once, Gonzo confided to Kermit, "If you run fast enough [through the metal detector], you don't have to take your belt off." Another time, Kermit noted that the security checkpoint is easier to get through when you don't wear clothing.

After a few successful takes of this shot, Kirk Thatcher announced that it was a wrap for the day, and everyone quickly dispersed. Joe and I, amazed that we were allowed to stay so long without being politely kicked out, said our thank-yous and exited to the real world, a world where prawns can't talk and bears rarely wear sweaters.

There's still a lot we don't know about Letters to Santa. And we know even less about the Muppet feature film that's being planned for 2010. But I have to say, I'm feeling more optimistic about the future of the Muppets today than I have in quite a while. The creative people know -- and they know that we know -- that not every production from the last 10 years or so has been a home run. But the enthusiasm on that set was pretty infectious, and while I've been "cautiously optmistic" about most of the recent Muppet productions, this time around I think I'll drop the adverb and just look forward to seeing what my favorite characters are up to this Christmas.

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